Category: Love

Dear Angel and Glug

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh, I’m quite out of breath from that long shout, but still sitting with a big grin on my face and an I told you so wanting to jump from my fingers…..and then I suddenly realise that I didn’t tell you “I told you so” since for once in my life I had opted to take the safer route…… I kept my mouth shut. This is not something I do easily and I am therefor very proud of myself for pulling this off. But, back to the subject at hand.

I wish you guys the best of luck and hope that it will all work out, that you’ll be happy, that Glug will continue to pick Angel’s mind, that Angel will be able to continue the joys of living the glugster life and that both of you will remember that all is fair in love and war.

I do have a tiny little bone to pick. Whether the bone should be picked with the two of you or with Santa I’m not completely sure, but here goes. How on earth did Angel end up with a Prince Charming? Afterall, I’m the one who placed him on my Christmas Wish list???? For those of you who are wondering…no, Santa did not deliver him to my doorstep on Christmas Eve……but it’s probably better that way. Santa acted with a bit of wisdom………if the poor guy had to cope with my insanely loving and lovable family at Christmas time he would have turned and run for the hills.

All jokes aside…congratulations you two! I really hope that things work out for the best and that smiles and happiness is all we’ll ever hear about this relationship in blogland. I suppose the odd fight and make-up scenario will be OK too:-)

Kisses to you both

Ruby

P.S. I won’t be returning to normal blogging until after the 7th, but as this is quite a memorable occasion for two people I’ve come to know I decided that it was worth the struggle with the dial-up modem to congratulate them.

Dear Date

Oh my goodness! Aren’t you just the sweetest piece of eye candy I’ve had in a looooong time….and I’ve had plenty eyecandy in the last couple of months. Yesterday when you waltzed into my office and helped me with my little blog spot problem I just knew we were going places.

After staying in my office way longer than needed or originally intended, popping in twice during the day just to make sure I was “OK” and being caught out discussing the “pretty little auditor”with the production manager, you finally plucked up enough courage to just ask me out for drinks. sweet sweet boy;-)

So tonight we will be going to some crazy cocktail bar to have a few drinks and to get to know each other better. But before we get going….there are a couple of things that you need to know about me. They are things that I’ve discovered about myself which sometimes irritate the crap out of people…but mostly they are the very reason my friends love me. So here goes nothing.

Firstly and most importantly I suppose I can be full of crap. Or maybe I should rather just state that I know what I want and under no circumstances am I prepared to settle for second best. Why should I? Actually, nobody likes settling for second best, I’m just very outspoken about it, if that makes me full of crap, that’s your problem.

I am a woman who lives my career and is extremely driven and passionate about what she does. A lot of guys are quite freaked out by this…lets hope you’re not one of them:-) I have a mind of my own, I’m extremely independent and i have a strong personality. A lot of men find this intimidating, which usually means that I end up being in charge of the relationship….I really hope that you’ll be able to handle me. As I’ve said before, I think the day that I actually meet Mr Right, I’ll be as submissive as a little lamb…but I’m still waiting for a guy that can handle that side of me.

When I really like someone I tend to tease and jest a lot. Sometimes people mistake that as I don’t like you or I think you’re stupid…pls do not make that mistake. I’m extremely talkative, but I can be a good listener when the situation calls for that. I pretty much function in my own little universe most of the time. I only venture down to earth to talk to individuals who appear intelligent, stimulating and entertaining. If that makes me a snob I’m sorry, but I’m bored easily and therefore don’t waste my time with people I know I won’t find interesting.

I think that is pretty much that. I would, however, like to set your mind at ease over most of these. The fact that I’ve already spoken to you, teased you, didn’t get angry at the fact that you were discussing me with other people and agreed to have drinks with you tonight, already conquers most of the issues mentioned above. So I don’t think you have too much to worry about.

OK, I’m off to go and think of what I’m wearing tonight. After all, I have to look absolutely stunning! It’s only fair, you had to put yourself out there and ask me out…..now I’ll repay you for the risk you took

Regards

Ruby

Dear Sorta Guy

How dare you??? How dare you?? how dare you?? I’m so upset right now that all i really want to do is cry. But no, I have to wear a professional little smile and appear all calm and collected to all at work. How dare you???

You have been my best male friend for what feels like a lifetime. I guess when you really think about it, its only about 2 years….but it feels like I’ve know you forever. You are the only guy I know who really really gets me. You are free spirited, spontaneous, the only straight guy I know who loves shopping and knows more about fashion than I do, my fun partner, my unromantic soul mate….all in all, you’re my boy

I haven’t really spoken to you in weeks. Not because of a lack of trying on my behalf mind you. I’ve been calling and smsing and all i get is silence. This caused my heart to constrict in fear more than once. You’re back in the evil world where you have come from. Not as one of them, but you have to face those people everyday, you work there. My biggest fear for weeks has been that you have returned to that evil, smelly world of drugs, booze, sex and generally throwing your life away in the haze that cocaine and heroine brings….i wanted to die…and still no reply.

Then just now you sent me a message, told me you were sick, you were going for an operation. When i wanted to know what was wrong you went offline….asshole! but I’m not easily put off…I smsd you. For a change you actually replied…avoiding my question at first, but eventually failing…kidney problems..they are going to try and see if they can fix it during the operation…you don’t sound hopeful.

I tell you that I’m worried, I would like to see you, i miss you. And what do you do?? you send me a snotty sms telling me that if I missed you so much I should have come and seen you at your restaurant…the one I’m starting to wish you never became a part of. how dare you????? you’re the one whose been ignoring me and now you blame me????? Please excuse me for not understanding???

Being the person I am I didn’t retaliate…oh no…I wanted to know whether I could come visit you. And you refuse? you tell me, the person you have called your best friend so many times, that she can not come and visit you while you go through one of the toughest things you’ve ever faced??? I’ve been there through most of you big decisions in you life…and you refuse me this one??

How dare you shut me out of your life? I am the one person you have always turned to, the one who has supported you while you went through some really tough shit…and this is how you treat me. Your attitude tells me that there is something that you’re not telling me. You are hiding something….and that worries me more than anything. What are you not telling? and more importantly…why? Are you afraid that I’ll be disappointed? that i won’t love you anymore? that I’ll judge you? I have known you in your worst and I’ve never pushed you away, judged you and i certainly haven’t loved you less because of any of it. why would I start now?

I miss you my sweety! I love you and I’m so angry at you right now for shutting me out? Probably more hurt and worried than angry I guess. I just wish you would tell me whats going on…the suspense is killing me:-(

Love

Your Joe

Dear Santa

I am sooo excited!! I can’t believe it’s that time of the year again. Time for family, friends, eating, drinking, having fun and sharing the love. Not forgetting you of course….and time for prezzies:-)

I have been a very good girl this year..promise! I’ve done all my work in record time, didn’t kill Mr G(one of my clients) even though he insisted on calling me all kinds of odd names and chasing me away like a dog, I’ve paid all my bills, I helped people out and for goodness sake, just for not killing Mr G I should already be receiving a gigantic gift…what more do you want???

Anyway, I hope this letter reaches you in time. I’m not too sure about the North Pole, but I know for a fact that the South African postal service isn’t that hot….so I’m hoping no greasy palmed, sniveling postal worker doesn’t nick this letter. If such a person is reading this letter, please put it back in the envelope and replace it in Santa’s post box please!

My list for Christmas is not that long. But here goes
1. Tickets for my Bro and Sister-in-law so they can join us for Christmas from the US
2. All expenses paid trip with spending money for two to Spain…preferably scheduled for
sometime after Christmas, as I’d prefer to spend Christmas with the family
3. A new lounge suite that will actually fit in my teeny tiny cottage
4. Nigella’s new cook book:-)
5. Some Lacoste Touch of Pink…..mine is almost finished
6. GHD hair straightener
7. Asterix DVD collection(an odd request but i really love the old guy)
8. Stranger than fiction DVD(do i have to explain this one??)
9. The Postsecrets book
10. and last but certainly not least, if you could manage it, Prince Charming would be nice….preferably wearing an Armani suit;-)

Now Santa, I know you are very very busy, but I don’t think these little things are too much? I know nr 10 might actually take some time, as I can be a bit difficult as to what I like and what I don’t….but that’s why I sent you the letter a month in advance, so you’ll have some time.

Please take care and travel safely when you do your deliveries

Kisses

Ruby

Dear Mr P

Today your company listed….and did really well(yes all right! I’ve been monitoring it on the net the whole day). So I think congratulations is in order.

Now that I have been presented with the chance I would like to discuss a few minor issues with you. I’m sure you’ll agree that they are extremely relevant and I expect that you might find some of these very enjoyable.

First of all I would just like to clarify something for myself and would appreciate a truthful answer. I know you were a multi-millionaire before all this, but am I correct in understanding that you will now practically be a gazillionaire??? At sub 30?(wow)

Your dad and I have been discussing the possibility of a match made in heaven. He is of the opinion that there is no way in hell that any other woman but me will do. I have to admit that at first I was a bit unsure of this, but today clarity finally came to me(this of course had nothing to do with your share price shooting into the sky), and I tend to agree with him.

He is a dear sweet old man and personally I wouldn’t mind having him as a father-in-law. It’s your mum I’m a bit scared of! Very strict and very orthodox……which brings me to my next point. Religion might be an issue…at least for your mommy! Your dad recons that if we keep it quiet until after the wedding she won’t have a choice in the matter. Do you have any opinions on this?

The Ferrari you bought cash really is a bit too much tho sweety. Since you are already driving around in a Porche……..I have however, already found a solution to your problem. Please feel welcome to give me the second hand Ferrari as an engagement gift….i guess it will have to do until you can buy me a brand new one.

And then last but not least….we really have to work on your people skills. You have all this money, but an ex-wife and a string of broken relationships bears witness to a person who has a serious lack of them! Coming to a meeting with your cellphone attached to your ear is bad etiquette and staring at me the whole time is very unprofessional. Of course you’ll be forgiven this time, as we will be getting married soon anyway, but don’t you dare stare at any of your other business associates!

I hope to be hearing from you soon to sort out the minor details…such as getting to know you and not just your financial dealings..etc.

Love of the future

Ruby

P.S. Why can’t you be more like your dad??? he’s already stuck on me! Quick wedding, quick divorce and lots and lots of cash!