Dear sir, madam, thing, beast or whatever the hell you are

I’m writing you this letter because there are a number of things that I need to discuss with you rather urgently. I would appreciate if you could heed these guidelines as soon as possible as some of them are driving me quite insane…(or maybe that’s your plan??)

First of all let me start out by asking how things are on that side of me. Are you coping? I know since Amanda left things have been quite hectic and you’ve been overworked….but Amanda wasn’t an asset to me…she had to go.

One of the issues i need to discuss with you is the fact that i never receive urgent messages from you. They tend to pitch up at the control centre hours after the deadline time. You should know that the fact that i don’t receive messages from you warning me to keep my mouth shut, not to laugh and to generally not do what I’m planing but to rather do the normal thing has landed me in heaps and heaps of trouble. This never used to be a problem, as Amanda had a decent piece of advise whenever the trouble blew up in my face. Now, you might ask me why i fired Amanda. The thing is that you never used to take this long to send messages to begin with, which meant that i didn’t really need Amanda and therefor fired her.

Secondly I would like to point out to you that shouting at me will get you nowhere! I do not respond to loud levels of voice unless it is connected to a particularly enjoyable tune(trust me…..you can’t make an enjoyable tune so don’t even try). In future if you need to discuss something with me please speak at an appropriate volume level or drop me a letter.

Thirdly, and i think this might possibly be the most important point……would you please stop staring at my friend?????? Now, i know he’s a hunk, he’s a musician and he is an incredibly sweet boy…but seriously dude…you’re becoming obvious! If you can’t stop staring please relinquish control over the eyes and head to the control centre or to me personally if the control centre doesn’t have the available staff.

Last but certainly not least. Please would you tell Tallulah who works down there that she has stacked quite enough “J-Lo-stock” as she calls it, and that she can stop now!!!! Its her fault that I’ll have to actually start going to a bloody gym!!! I used to be slender with gorgeous curves…but the curves are getting larger and it seems I’ll actually have to do some exercise for a change…blegh! Tell her some damage control might be in order.

That will be all for now. Thank you so much for your co-operation

Regards

Ruby

Happy Birthday Dad!!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day and that mom will spoil you rotten since i’m not there to help. May the year ahead be blessed beyond belief and may we be blessed with your earthly presence for many a year to come.

I am so glad that i was able to come and visit you guys over the weekend. Natal is always filled with peace and tranquility and as soon as i drive over the border at the top of the pass I just know i’m home. I think i’ll always be a little “Natallertjie” at heart, and if i ever had the chance i will definitely return to the province of Milk & Honey.

The trip home yesterday was uneventful until i got stuck on the N12. Apparently some sort of chemical spilled on the highway after a horror crash and melted the tar. For the first time in my life i was able to drive against the traffic on a highway…legally!

Anyway, to get back to the reason why i’m writing you this letter. Thank you so much for all the years of support and love. I don’t think i tell you guys often enough how much you mean to me. I am one blessed child and will always be your little baby princess….even when i’m married to my prince Charming. Thank you for understanding me and for standing next to me and helping me along on my race. I wish there is some way that I could repay you guys for everything you’ve done, but i can think of none….and wouldn’t risk trying as it would never be enough.

Thank you for always being the one to apologize first, simply because you loved me too much to have a real fight. For always treating me with understanding and correcting me in a loving and safe environment. For letting me go when i decided to spread my wings on an early age. For still phoning me twice a week to catch up even though i am now completely independant. For sending those sms’s on the most arb times just to tell me you love me. For rushing up to Jozi in the middle of the night covering 500km in record time to wait for me to wake up after my crash. For never judging me no matter what odd ideas I had.

Thank you for loving mom so much that after 32 years you guys are still so in love it’s embarressing at times! For holding her hand in public, always being a gentleman even when you guys had a fight and covering her with kisses anywhere, any place. It’s really special being part of a family where the image of a fairy tale family is reality.

Thank you for bringing me up in the best way you possibly could and teaching me that if a guy won’t treat me like a princess and if he drives me to tears, he wasn’t worth my tears to begin with. Thanks for doing the best you can! Just thanks.

Happy birthday once again Dadio!

Lots of love

Your little girl

You gorgeous man! I think you might have just made my day, my week, my whole bloody month!!!!

So, while you’ve been gallivanting all around North America on a Daddy sponsored couple of month holiday, I’ve been having withdrawal symptoms. A girl can only last so long without discussing a “very casual relationship” with anyone, pretend not to be listing to the bossman’s discussion of the boys’ holiday, live on short e-mails alone and not have any eye candy what so ever to stare at.

The fact that daddy dearest is unaware of our little liaison and suspects that our relationship is strictly due to the fact that you saved me from a collapsed building doesn’t exactly help me in anyway. It is difficult to try and fish about you when I’m supposed to know your younger brother soooo much better since we have way more in common and had to take a course together. He’s forever telling me about your bro’s adventures, girls, parties, odd jobs and spending habits. No sweet boy information is forthcoming.

But this morning there was a weird number on my cellphone…i almost did not answer as i was in a meeting with the bossman(close call!!!!) I answered, heard your voice and almost freaked out completely! i only just managed to hold myself together long enough to make it to my office. And then of course started shrieking and giggling to the entertainment of the whole company…bossmann included.

You told me that you just had to talk to me and that second hand news obtained under the pretense of finding out how the business is doing just wasn’t cutting it….yay!!! You miss me….you’re probably lying, but that’s OK too. We’re just friends with benefits anyway;-) and last but not least…not one of the girls who has been throwing themselves at your feet(and I believe you here, since you look like a bloody superstar!!!) is nearly as gorgeous as i am….lies, lies all lies! but you made me giggle and smile anyway, cause i know that in our weird way you missed me too:-)

We’ll probably never take the plunge and have a proper relationship…but you’re good company and keep me properly entertained when I’m bored. I only wish you happiness, and i hope your having tons and tons of fun over there. But it was really good to hear your voice and to know that you miss your friend:-)

Of course all the shrieking, giggling and the running out of the meeting had to be explained when i returned. I’ve forgotten what a really bad liar I am:-( I tried to keep it as close to the real thing as i could without actually giving our little secret away……….”my friend who is touring North America”. His reply…”maybe you should give him “bossman’s son” number, he would love seeing some south Africans” “Uhm….yeah, maybe we should do that” And I’m sitting there thinking…”so what?? is you’re gonna phone yourself???” Let’s just hope your daddy loses that idea really quickly….otherwise this lie is gonna spiral outa control….again!
I hope you’re having fun, and if you meet the girl of your dreams along the way……please just don’t get married without me as your best lady ok? I miss you!

Love

Ruby

I sincerely hope that this letter finds you alive and well. I have to admit that on some level I have my doubt as to if you actually will be OK, but for all our sakes I’m going to try and believe beyond reason that you will be just fine.

As usual my virtue of patience sort of flew out the window when the traffic was just standing still…again! It woke me up from my normal morning stupor in a very unpleasant and irritating way. By the time I had phoned my boss, postponed my meeting and discovered that i only moved about 20m in the last half an hour I was completely awake and ready to pounce on the individual responsible for the problem. I of course thought that there was a police road block, in peak traffic……the police just looove doing that! I never expected to come round the bend to find your poor broken body lying on a stretcher, lights flashing, sirens screaming and destruction all around.

My hands became clammy and my heart started to race at a thousand miles an hour. The breath I so easily take for granted became short, fast and laboured. My head started reeling and horror images were paraded around in my memory. Tears instantaneously filled my eyes, and the make-up so carefully applied this morning turned into a mess. Only the waterproof mascara proved its worth.

Your pain and suffering had brought up images so vividly that i had to stop for a second. Unable to peel my eyes away from the horror in front of me without really seeing what was there. I was seeing a different accident scene, feeling the pain so sharply again in my body that for a second i forgot myself and reached out to rub the injured leg.

Then, as i passed the world started to revolve around it’s axis again. The colours shifted back into their usual bright self and the sirens faded into the background. And as my heart started pacing its self again everything just jumped back into place around me.

Sir, I hope you survived that horror. And i sincerely hope that one day, when all of the hurt and the nightmares and bitterness and the “why”questions pass that you will find the peace I have. That you will be grateful for everyday. For every person. That the fact that all metal detectors yell and cause chaos whenever you pass will cause you to smile. And that you will remember that for all practical reasons you shouldn’t be here.

Yours gratefully

Ruby