Please please please, for the sake of my sanity and mental well-being, never ever do that to me again OK? I have been worried sick for the last 20 hours. I haven’t been able to sleep and i wasn’t really in the mood to do much eating either.

Setting the fact that I was stood up aside, though goodness knows that would be enough to drive any woman crazy, the little bone i have to pick with you has more to do with your little disappearing act. But for the sake of being thorough, lets start near the beginning somewhere.

Your fascinating and unusual past and interesting current life situation snared me from the moment i laid my eyes on you. Now don’t get me wrong. This little snaring action had nothing at all to do with romance, and everything to do with the fact that i love people, their habits, their histories and there general characters.

Despite your cold hearted, death metalish, gangsta man past, you have surprisingly soft eyes. And your chin, although set at a very determined angle, speaks of compasion and a love for everything around you. But before i become completely distracted, let me return to the purpose of this letter.

You’ve been nagging me for a coffee date for weeks. Sulkishly complaining that I haven’t been able to fit you into my insane schedule. Then on Tuesday we finally managed to set a date that suited us both….the very next evening:-) After all the speeches i gave you about booking me in advance you managed to get a short notice appointment…nice!

When i tried to contact you yesterday to confirm details your phone just rang. I wasn’t worried and left a voice message knowing that you’ll return the call as soon as possible, as always. Except, you didn’t call back. I sms’d you an hour before the scheduled time, but still no reply. And then, to my absolute horror, you didn’t show up at the coffee bar.

I phoned, again! It rang for ages and finally went to voicemail. Problem was, i couldn’t decide whether i was upset with you for “bumping” me or freaking out because “not showing up”, not phoning and not returning messages is not your style. I packed up, went home and tried to remain calm.

But i’m a tad paranoid by nature, so my mind kept jumping to the worst conclusions ever. You were in an accident. You were hi-jacked. You were taken hostage in an armed robbery somewhere. You were lying in a ditch, riddled with bulletholes. And then the one thought which managed to send me over the edge just a little…….You’re an ex-gangsta right? So what if some of your old buddies found you?

At about 10 i finally surrendered to the feelings of paranoia which had been nagging at the edge of my mind all day and i phoned your best friend. He didn’t know where you were either…but he promised to try your home number as well as a couple of other places you might be…sweet sweet boy he is. I managed to calm myself down a little after that, but the frantic call I received 15minutes later threw me back into the pits of paranoia. He couldn’t find you. Your home phone just rang, so did your cellphone, and nobody knew where on earth you could possibly be. Everybody was under the impression you were having coffee with me.

Needless to say I didn’t sleep very well:-( I looked like crap this morning and couldn’t pull off my normal trick of spending literally 30seconds on make-up. I had to do some damange control. I’ve been jumpy all morning, and everytime the phone rings i expect it to be someone telling me that you were dead, that i had to come see you in some obscure hospital, that your old buddies were demanding a ransom that we couldn’t pay.

Then, when you finally did phone this afternoon i didn’t know whether i wanted to hug you or slap you! You forgot your phone in a friends car…so you couldn’t phone, and you spent the whole night in a hospital with a friend who had a car accident last night….so you didn’t pitch. I’m still not quite sure whether i’m upset or just relieved that you are OK.

I have to give you credit for the way you apologized and for the big bunch of flowers you promised. But please dude, don’t ever do this to me again OK? The last 20 hours have been sheer hell for this here little girl. You see, i’m one of those people who have to fuss over other people. I worry about them all the time and do nice things for them because i like to make people feel special. So do you understand how your little disappearing act sent me into “freak out” mode?

Anyway, firstly…apology accepted. Even if i didn’t feel like forgiving you(which i do) i’d seem like an utter biatch if i didn’t….you were at a hospital with a friend after all. Secondly, yes, i suppose i could reschedule and go out for coffee with you….but just remember that a woman’s memory is like an elephant. We never forget. So the fact that you stood me up, noble and heroic as your reason might have been, will unfortunately haunt you forever. You’re gonna have to work really hard to get my mind past that one:) See you tonight!

Hugs

Ruby

P.S. I hope your friend is OK?

Admittedly, usually a letter from me to you would have fallen somewhere between hate-mail or complaints. But today I have a whole different matter resting heavily on my heart. I want to thank you.

OK, you can stop laughing now and sit back down, I’m serious about this one. I would really like to thank you. I realise that even though most of you guys waste your time at work on all kinds of mundane things you probably haven’t stumbled across my little collection of letters yet…..so I’ll give you an update.

On Wednesday i wrote a letter to a guy that has been stalking me. Not bothering me a little or appearing to be a little more interested in me than most other guys…..full on stalking. I was like a scared little mouse. After sitting around for a while, feeling like the proverbial sitting duck, I managed to work up some courage and became outraged. I refused to be the victim and took action.

First course of action:
Contacted his boss, spilled the beans, found out that I’m not the first and managed to get his ass fired.

I wasn’t too thrilled at the idea of him being fired. I know this sounds really silly, but just try and put yourself in my position. He’s already stalking me…..he’s probably contemplating and planing my abduction and subsequent murder…..and now he has even more reason to hate me……GREAT!

Second course of action:
I finally mustered the courage to give you guys a ring. I didn’t want to initially. I was afraid that i would be laughed at, ridiculed, accused of seeking attention and most of all that nothing will be done about it.

I was pleasantly surprised by the service i received. The officer i spoke to treated me with so much respect and made me feel like the most important person on earth. He didn’t laugh, he didn’t ridicule and he was outraged. Bless his little cotton socks!

Thanx to yours truly and the ever so sweet police officer, dear Mr Honda guy has been arrested. Apparently the cops have been looking for him for a while. *skipping and jumping around office in little victory dance*

So, this is just a little thank you note. Thank you for treating me with respect, for not making me feel like a paranoid little bitch and last but definitely not least for catching the moron who has been making my life a living hell.

Regards

Ruby

I am quite disturbed to find myself in a position where it is necessary to write a letter like this. But I can not keep quiet any longer. I am beginning to realise that I am not just being paranoid but that you are indeed stalking me. One word: STOP!

I have to admit that initially i was a tad flattered. Please note…a TAD! My friend and I were shopping around for a bike, for him. He let me tag along as I have a motorbike fetish, plus I’d be able to give him an objective, purely female view on how the bike looked, and how he looked on the bike. Visiting all the different bike shops was fun, and by the time we got to your dealership i was in a happy and carefree mood.

I suppose you guys must have found it quite entertaining and surprising to see a smashing young lady in her power suit, stiletto shoes and perfect hairdo jumping on every single bike you own, including the quads! Your initial interest was sweet and flattering, and had i known what it would result in I would have been a super biatch right from the start. But since i tend to see the best in people and situations, and i didn’t expect to be rewarded for my niceness quite like this, i smiled and chatted like normal.

It started out innocent enough, but then you managed to get our company’s telephone number from my friends finance application. The first call was odd, but not entirely freaky. You invited me to go on a breakfast run the following Saturday. A part of me was dying to go as i knew exactly which bike we would be allowed to take, but my rational and uber logical mind stayed in control and I graciously refused.

Unfortunately my obvious signs of disinterest and eventual disgust did not register. You kept on phoning….more than once a day. Then the other day you suddenly started calling me on my cellphone. I would just love to know how the hell you got my number!! cause my friend sure as hell didn’t give it to you. This problem was solved easily enough by just barring your number. But today took the cake!

You know in which area I live!!!!! and since it’s no where near my place of work, the only explanation is that you followed me. You followed me??? WTF?????? who gave you the right?? *trying really hard not to admit how downright scared and freaked out I am*

Dude, seriously….this has got to stop. I swear, the next time you phone or the next time i even suspect that you might be following me..I’ll set the police on your ass! I said it to you over the phone and now I’m putting it in writing, trust me….i have the cops on speed dial. Just back off!!!

Regards

Ruby

Today, as I sit in front of my little laptop tapping away, my heart is surprisingly heavy. There is a strange sort of hush around the office which, for once, has nothing to do with load shedding.

The news reached us yesterday. But at the time I just didn’t feel up to writing/talking/thinking about it……i guess it had to sink in first. My boss asked me to come to his office, and I just knew something was completely wrong. His whole being was screaming it at me. You, my dear Mister PS had died.

In the past three years I have gotten to know you quite well. You were a merry old fellow, full of mischief, a lust for life, love of languages and people and plenty of time to make sure the people around you were happy. I met you as a little first year clerk, completely freaked out by the new world she was being subjected to, but you soon set my heart and head at ease.

The really sad thing is that you were the last person we were expecting this from. Apparently you fell and cut your foot, nothing serious right? wrong! The cut picked up a new version of bacterial infection, something called a super bug. Shortly after your minor fall you were admitted to hospital and placed on about 32 different antibiotics………no success, as the super bug outlives them all.

A mere 3 weeks after your fall, you finally waved us all goodbye. Your death certificate says “Heart attack”, but the truth of the matter is that you body just couldn’t fight it anymore. It didn’t have the power any more and simply gave up.

You have been one of my favourite clients and next time I show my little face at your company there will be an empty space in the office once filled with WW2 planes and family pictures. I hope that you rest in peace and that your family will be comforted in time.

It just goes to show. No matter how we live our lives, whether we are super healthy, super fit, obese, unhappy, fulfilled, loved or unloved…….when your time’s up, your time’s up. There are no second chances, no time for regrets and no looking back. I sincerely hope that you leave this earth without any regrets.

Life here at the office will go on. But you can be sure that your abundant phone calls and visits will be sorely missed by us all.

Regards

Ruby

Gosh! I don’t know what to say! I do not usually suffer of the thing called “a loss for words” but today I am. I suppose thank you would be in order. But that is where i get stuck. I hope this letter of thanks and the big smile on my face this morning was enough.

This morning I overslept ever so slightly…most probably due to the fact that I was at a party last night and only got home really late…but I suppose it might have had something to do with the weather, or some other mundane incident during the night…who knows and who cares. The fact is I overslept, and I’m never in a very happy mood when i oversleep.

I hurried through my morning routine at an alarmingly fast pace and managed to leave the house no more than 10 minutes later than usual(well done rubes!!!!). It was raining, traffic was bad, there were 4 accidents on route, i forgot that i had to fill up my tank before i left for work so that made me even later…all in all, the morning was pretty crap, i was in a somber mood due to this and the world looked miserable.

then suddenly as I waited rather impatiently at the traffic light there was a soft knock on my window. dude!!! you can be so glad i didn’t have my pepper spray right there with me like i usually do…you would have felt like dying!!! you don’t just knock on people’s car windows when they are waiting at a traffic light! that’s dangerous business!

anyway, after regaining control of my heartbeat and realising that you looked harmless enough and noticing the odd thing you were holding in your hand, i opened the window. You held out the object to me, smiled from ear to ear and solemnly pronounced “you’re so pretty……please take this flower, i just picked it in my garden”

I was flabbergasted! my jaw dropped, i dumbly took the flower while mumbling a thank you and then you turned around and returned to your gate, went in and closed it. You had given a strange girly a couple of garden flowers while she was waiting at the traffic light just like that!

You will never know this….but today you have become a little hero:) My day brightened considerably. I sang all the way to work, managed to go through it with very little trouble, and I even managed to start enjoying this whole “being the boss” thing.

Today has been a marvelous day….all thanx to you sir. The little bunch of flowers are proudly standing on my desk for all to see. Especially me, so that i can remember how wonderful life really is…even when you’ve overslept

Regards

Ruby