Yes, I know i was late for work this morning, I also realise that you probably won’t believe me, but allow me the opportunity to at least try and explain to you why i was late.

This morning on my way to work I was pulled over by a police officer. I very HOT police officer. I was all ready with my license and an argument cause i KNEW i hadn’t done anything wrong. Anyway, so he walked up to my window, told me to put away my license and asked if he could have my telephone number.

Yes, i realise you’re probably thinking…’WTF‘, and i won’t lie, that’s pretty much what was running through my mind at the time. I, of course, refused, which led to him standing by my window for 10mins trying to convince me to give him my number.

Finally, after 10mins, he allowed me to leave and carry on my merry way towards work. Now, i realise that this story sounds weird and odd and completely untrue, but think about it this way…..if i wanted to lie about it, don’t you think i would have come up with something slightly more believable? I mean, this is too ridiculous not to be the truth. Also, we’re both aware of the fact that I’m a terrible liar:)

Regards

Ruby

My word! What a week this has been. So much sadness and drama and tears. I think I can easily say that most of this week would fall into the “top 5 worst weeks ever” category. I am working on a letter about the happenings this week, but it’s not done yet. A lot of tears and brokenness comes pouring out…..so it’s taking a bit long. But writing is good for me. It’s helping me to make sense of it all, and to process what happened.

So in the meantime I’d like to tell you about a song i recently heard that really touched my heart. On Monday night i was chatting to a friend of mine, and he was telling me about the death of an ex-colleague, and how sad this made him. (That funeral is today btw….I’m thinking of you love) And then he sent me a song and asked me to listen to it and share my thoughts. I was so touched by it that i ended up finding the lyrics.

Terry’s song
Well they built the Titanic to be one of a kind, but many ships have ruled the seas
They built the Eiffel Tower to stand alone, but they could build another if they please
Taj Mahal, the pyramids of Egypt, are unique I suppose
But when they built you, brother, they broke the mold

Now the world is filled with many wonders under the passing sun
And sometimes something comes along and you know it’s for sure the only one
The Mona Lisa, the David, the Sistine Chapel, Jesus, Mary, and Joe
And when they built you, brother, they broke the mold

When they built you, brother, they turned dust into gold
When they built you, brother, they broke the mold

They say you can’t take it with you, but I think that they’re wrong
‘Cause all i Know is I woke up this morning, and something big was gone
Gone into that dark ether where you’re still young and hard and cold
Just like when they built you, brother, they broke the mold

Now your death is upon us and we’ll return your ashes to the earth
And i know you’ll take comfort in knowing you’ve been roundly blessed and cursed
But love is a power greater than death, just like the songs and stories told
and when she built you, brother, she broke the mold

That attitude’s a power stronger than death, alive and burning her stone cold
When they built you, brother

How incredibly powerful is that???? We ended up having this whole discussion about leaving your mark and being so unique in who you are that there is truly no one like you. It was kind of ironic, having this discussion on Monday and then having my own drama with death on Tuesday.

Anyway, i just thought I’d give you guys some food for thought. I hope one day when I’m no longer around, I would have lived my life in such a way that people will remember me and say that i was one of a kind, the mold was broken after I was made…..a limited edition.

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

I realise I’ve been awfully quiet of late, and that all the little letters you have been able to get your eyes on have been kind of short and not really up to my normal standard. I’ve been busy….busy with work, with my masters, with friends, with issues, with life in general really:)

I have however been working on this little letter for a couple of days. It isn’t often that I write a post that contains a lot of “bare all” from me. Yes, I show emotion, and love and sadness and anger and all the rest, but more often than not, you’ll notice that I’m kinda sketchy when it comes to the mind and heart of me. I don’t like opening myself up, being vulnerable and admitting weakness, and therefore it doesn’t happen very often. But here, in this letter, is a little piece of me, Ruby, in her raw and unedited form…..enjoy!

After 27 years, I’m of the opinion that I know myself pretty well….by the time I’m 35 I’ll probably look back on this letter and marvel at my silliness for even beginning to think i know myself…but right now, as it stands…this is what I’ve learnt.

I HATE admitting that I’m wrong. In fact, if I’ve ever admitted to being wrong about anything serious and you were the recipient of such an admission…consider yourself lucky. I rarely get involved in a discussion if I’m not quite sure of my story because of this reason….so usually i don’t have to admit that I’m wrong. But I’ve done and said some pretty screwed up things in my life. Don’t get me wrong…if I’m wrong and i KNOW it, I will admit to this fact and apologize….but it’s not something that comes to me easily.

As far as relationships or impending relationships go…I shouldn’t have too much time to think. I’ve learned that mostly I should be caught off guard. Not completely, but a little. If I’m allowed too much thinking time between realising that a dude is into me and the time where something actually happens between us, I will more than likely come up with a million reasons why it would never work and I’ll end up neatly avoiding any romantic involvement. Yes….I am an over thinker….but i tend to be even worse than most people.

As much as i am confident and feisty and a little fighter who works hard for all she’s got and who is ready to take on the world on her own for what she truly wants and for what she truly believes in….at the end of the day I’m just a little girl at heart.

The thing that really rips the carpet from underneath my feet is disappointment. I hate disappointing the people i love and even more than that i hate disappointing myself. Anger and frustration and sadness I can cope with without missing a beat…disappointment…gets me every time.

I can’t stand injustice, half truths and lies. I always feel the need to point it out and fix it.

I suck at being angry for longer than a couple of minutes and for the life of me i can’t hold grudges. I’m generally a pretty upbeat person, and being angry and moody turns me into a difficult and unhappy person…this irritates me, so anger and moodiness flies out the window pretty quickly.

The one thing i post even less about than my inner “me-ness” is my faith. Not because I’m ashamed or not passionate, it’s simply because I don’t believe in bombarding people with what I believe. But this letter would be incomplete without mentioning it. Despite being an extremely rational and realistic and scientific person I can not deny that I believe in God. That my faith in Him is the one thing that makes me who I am. It keeps me sane and positive and excited about life. There is just too much in my life that is completely unexplainable and too marvelous to explain in any other way.

Maybe writing this has opened me up to negative comments and future hurts…who knows. All I know is that at the end of the day…this is me. Granted, there is a lot more to the inner “me-ness” than what I’ve written in this letter, but this is definitely a part of it.

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

P.S. Now be nice!

As per your usual current addictions post, and the understanding that i’m allowed to copy the idea. I’ve once again decided to address a letter to you to describe my current addictions:) I hope you don’t mind?

1. Toblerone
I just can’t help myself….I’m semi addicted to it at the moment. But I limit my intake, as too much of it will definitely result in over sized body parts:P
2. Twilight series
As you know i bought the box set, the dvd and the soundtrack not so long ago:) Am loving it to bits…books have been read twice in a very very short space of time and the dvd’s been watch more than i care to count:)3. Mutemath
I totally adore this band. Enough said!4. Breaking Benjamin
Ok, so it’s obvious I like music…just another one of my recent discoveries:)5. Beret
I have very recently discovered the wonders of wearing a beret…..and i loves it!Love

Ruby
xxxxxx

I have to admit that initially i wasn’t quite sure whether I should address this letter to you, Laura or Angel, and for no real reason I finally decided to address it to you;) Yes, I realise it’s another meme instead of a real, true and heart wrenching post…but I am working on one…it’s just a bit emotional and is taking longer than usual to finalise…or maybe I’m just too scared to actually post it..who knows.

In the meantime I’ve opted to do this little meme to at least remind you that i am still alive and well:)

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. Believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming as nothing is exactly as it seems.

3. Answer carefully you will say YES to more than you think.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? YES

Been arrested? NO

Kissed someone you didn’t like? YES

Slept in until 5 PM? YES

Fallen asleep at work/school? NO

Held a snake? NO

Ran a red light? YES

Been suspended from school? NO

Experienced love at first sight? YES

Lied about your age? YES

Totaled your car in an accident? YES

Been fired from a job? NO

Fired somebody? NO

Sang karaoke? YES

Pointed a gun at someone? NO

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? YES

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? YES

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? YES

Kissed in the rain? YES

Had a close brush with death (your own)? YES

Seen someone die? YES

Played spin-the-bottle? YES

Sang in the shower? YES

Smoked a cigar? YES

Sat on a rooftop? YES

Smuggled something into another country? YES

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? YES

Broken a bone? YES

Skipped school? NO

Eaten a bug? YES

Sleepwalked? YES

Walked a moonlit beach? YES

Rode a motorcycle? YES

Dumped someone? YES

Forgotten your anniversary? NO

Lied to avoid a ticket? NO

Ridden in a helicopter? YES

Shaved your head? NO

Blacked out from drinking? NO

Played a prank on someone? YES

Hit a home run? NO

Felt like killing someone? NO

Cross-dressed? YES

Been falling-down drunk? NO

Made your girlfriend/ boyfriend cry? YES

Eaten snake/ Shark? YES

Marched/ Protested? YES

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? NO

Puked on an amusement park ride? NO

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? NO

Been in a band? YES

Knitted? YES

Been on TV? YES

Shot a gun? NO

Skinny-dipped? YES

Gave someone stitches? NO

Eaten a whole habanero pepper? YES

Ridden a surfboard? NO

Went water skiing? NO

Drank straight from a liqour bottle? YES

Had surgery? YES

Streaked? NO

Ridden in a hot air balloon? NO

Taken by ambulance to hospital? YES

Tripped on mushrooms? NO

Passed out when not drinking? YES

Peed on a bush? YES

Donated Blood? YES

Grabbed electric fence? NO

Eaten alligator meat? YES

Killed an animal when not hunting? NO

Hit someone in the face? YES

Hitchhiked? YES

Peed your pants in public? NO

Tattoo? NO

Snuck into a movie without paying? NO

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? YES

Stayed up for 48 hours straight? YES

Still love someone you shouldn’t? YES

Think about the future? YES

Been in handcuffs? NO

Believe in love? YES

Still in touch with your childhood sweetheart? YES

Accepted too much change from a clerk? NO

If for some reason you have any questions…feel free to ask 😛

Love

Ruby
xxxx

P.S. Angel for some reason it won’t allow me to put the link to your blog in today…dunno why:( I tried a couple of times…promise!