Author: Rubyletters

Dear SAPS

Admittedly, usually a letter from me to you would have fallen somewhere between hate-mail or complaints. But today I have a whole different matter resting heavily on my heart. I want to thank you.

OK, you can stop laughing now and sit back down, I’m serious about this one. I would really like to thank you. I realise that even though most of you guys waste your time at work on all kinds of mundane things you probably haven’t stumbled across my little collection of letters yet…..so I’ll give you an update.

On Wednesday i wrote a letter to a guy that has been stalking me. Not bothering me a little or appearing to be a little more interested in me than most other guys…..full on stalking. I was like a scared little mouse. After sitting around for a while, feeling like the proverbial sitting duck, I managed to work up some courage and became outraged. I refused to be the victim and took action.

First course of action:
Contacted his boss, spilled the beans, found out that I’m not the first and managed to get his ass fired.

I wasn’t too thrilled at the idea of him being fired. I know this sounds really silly, but just try and put yourself in my position. He’s already stalking me…..he’s probably contemplating and planing my abduction and subsequent murder…..and now he has even more reason to hate me……GREAT!

Second course of action:
I finally mustered the courage to give you guys a ring. I didn’t want to initially. I was afraid that i would be laughed at, ridiculed, accused of seeking attention and most of all that nothing will be done about it.

I was pleasantly surprised by the service i received. The officer i spoke to treated me with so much respect and made me feel like the most important person on earth. He didn’t laugh, he didn’t ridicule and he was outraged. Bless his little cotton socks!

Thanx to yours truly and the ever so sweet police officer, dear Mr Honda guy has been arrested. Apparently the cops have been looking for him for a while. *skipping and jumping around office in little victory dance*

So, this is just a little thank you note. Thank you for treating me with respect, for not making me feel like a paranoid little bitch and last but definitely not least for catching the moron who has been making my life a living hell.

Regards

Ruby

Dear Honda Biker guy

I am quite disturbed to find myself in a position where it is necessary to write a letter like this. But I can not keep quiet any longer. I am beginning to realise that I am not just being paranoid but that you are indeed stalking me. One word: STOP!

I have to admit that initially i was a tad flattered. Please note…a TAD! My friend and I were shopping around for a bike, for him. He let me tag along as I have a motorbike fetish, plus I’d be able to give him an objective, purely female view on how the bike looked, and how he looked on the bike. Visiting all the different bike shops was fun, and by the time we got to your dealership i was in a happy and carefree mood.

I suppose you guys must have found it quite entertaining and surprising to see a smashing young lady in her power suit, stiletto shoes and perfect hairdo jumping on every single bike you own, including the quads! Your initial interest was sweet and flattering, and had i known what it would result in I would have been a super biatch right from the start. But since i tend to see the best in people and situations, and i didn’t expect to be rewarded for my niceness quite like this, i smiled and chatted like normal.

It started out innocent enough, but then you managed to get our company’s telephone number from my friends finance application. The first call was odd, but not entirely freaky. You invited me to go on a breakfast run the following Saturday. A part of me was dying to go as i knew exactly which bike we would be allowed to take, but my rational and uber logical mind stayed in control and I graciously refused.

Unfortunately my obvious signs of disinterest and eventual disgust did not register. You kept on phoning….more than once a day. Then the other day you suddenly started calling me on my cellphone. I would just love to know how the hell you got my number!! cause my friend sure as hell didn’t give it to you. This problem was solved easily enough by just barring your number. But today took the cake!

You know in which area I live!!!!! and since it’s no where near my place of work, the only explanation is that you followed me. You followed me??? WTF?????? who gave you the right?? *trying really hard not to admit how downright scared and freaked out I am*

Dude, seriously….this has got to stop. I swear, the next time you phone or the next time i even suspect that you might be following me..I’ll set the police on your ass! I said it to you over the phone and now I’m putting it in writing, trust me….i have the cops on speed dial. Just back off!!!

Regards

Ruby

Dear Thieving artist

This is quite a difficult letter to write. Not because I don’t have much to say or because bad things happened, but simply because this means that I have to be all mushy and self investigative and stuff. What brought this on you might ask? Well, you know my heart better than most, you’ve managed to make me realise it’s OK to be a little dependant on someone and you phoned me over the weekend and made me think a little.

If I had to add all the times I’ve really been “IN LOVE” together, I won’t even need to use all five my fingers on the one hand. I’ve really LIKED a lot of guys, but very seldom have I fallen in love. There was the “The guy who made me the other woman”, the DJ, the guy with the smile…..and You.

You, the surfer/artist/poet with the ice blue eyes, bleached blond hair, keen gaze, artist hands, unmeasurable deepness and highly intellectual mind. You became a thief in a second and you’ve somehow managed to return only some of the treasure you stole.

You met me when I was at my worst! It was about 3 weeks after my accident. I was bedridden, a little depressed, bored out of my mind and seriously dishevelled. I had to rely on other people to at least try and to something with my hear, i was wearing “leisure clothes” which mainly meant stuff i could fit over all the casts, boots and guards i was wearing. I looked quite dreadful actually. But you pitched up at my folks’ house with one of my lifelong friends. You had joined him in the beautiful little country town for the weekend and was dutifully visiting his porcelain doll friend(they way he keeps referring to me).

In that second you walked in my door something just….well, clicked, i guess. I spent more time talking to you that weekend than i spent talking to me friend(bad friends we are). But you had to go back and that was that. We spoke over the phone every now and again, but we were simply friends checking up on one another.

Then, last year it happened. We went camping together and the thing we had been ignoring for so looooong suddenly reared it’s head again. And we were only to happy to oblige. Friends we were no longer……we weren’t in a relationship..we were just having fun. Or so we thought. Then you phoned a couple of weeks later. Shouldn’t we try this long distance thing? We could fly across once a month..it wouldn’t be so bad…..and like a fool i believed you and said yes.

But i soon realised I’m not my brother. How on earth he managed to date and engage over two continents i could never understand. The 700km’s just wasn’t working for me and I called it off. In the nicest way possible. Some called me a fool, and others applauded me for my honestly so early in a relationship. The truth of the matter is………I love attention. And I couldn’t stand not having my guy withing a reasonable distance. I don’t need to see you everyday..but i wanna know that if i needed to see you…well, i could!

Now we are back to just being really good friends. I speak to you on a twice weekly basis. We share everything. But this weekend was different. You didn’t have all that much to say. You simply wanted me to move to where you are. You are miserable without me….you missed me.

I have to admit that for a short while I did consider the possibility of moving. But I’m at a stage in my life where I’ve discovered who I really am…and I love that person. I love my job, my friends, my little house and my life here. And i realise that one day when i meet the right person or when I’m ready to settle down that I’ll have to give some of that up, or at least compromise. But I’m not ready to settle down yet. And I’m not ready to give all of that up yet.

I don’t want my future husband to expect me to give everything up….but i sure as hell wanna feel as if I would gladly give it up should it be needed. And to be quite honest……I’m not there yet.

I don’t regret telling you that I couldn’t. I don’t regret telling you that I can’t do this long distance thing. I know myself too well. And maybe I am full of crap when it comes to guys, and maybe I did pass up on the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But sitting here this morning I realised that I made the best decision i possibly could. I’m not ready for this yet.

I don’t know if the two of us will ever be together, or if we’re even meant to be. But I do know this much. You will always hold a little piece of my heart firmly in your hands. That doesn’t mean that I won’t fall in love with someone else and give them all my love and devotion. It simply means that because you were one of the very few people who actually got to see my heart you will always have a special place.

Thank you for understanding where I’m coming from on this. I know it’s hard, and disappointing and it hurts. But thank you for not telling me to bugger off. For promising to be my friend and at least understanding with your head, even if you have trouble understanding with your heart.

Love

Your Ruby

Dear Mr PS

Today, as I sit in front of my little laptop tapping away, my heart is surprisingly heavy. There is a strange sort of hush around the office which, for once, has nothing to do with load shedding.

The news reached us yesterday. But at the time I just didn’t feel up to writing/talking/thinking about it……i guess it had to sink in first. My boss asked me to come to his office, and I just knew something was completely wrong. His whole being was screaming it at me. You, my dear Mister PS had died.

In the past three years I have gotten to know you quite well. You were a merry old fellow, full of mischief, a lust for life, love of languages and people and plenty of time to make sure the people around you were happy. I met you as a little first year clerk, completely freaked out by the new world she was being subjected to, but you soon set my heart and head at ease.

The really sad thing is that you were the last person we were expecting this from. Apparently you fell and cut your foot, nothing serious right? wrong! The cut picked up a new version of bacterial infection, something called a super bug. Shortly after your minor fall you were admitted to hospital and placed on about 32 different antibiotics………no success, as the super bug outlives them all.

A mere 3 weeks after your fall, you finally waved us all goodbye. Your death certificate says “Heart attack”, but the truth of the matter is that you body just couldn’t fight it anymore. It didn’t have the power any more and simply gave up.

You have been one of my favourite clients and next time I show my little face at your company there will be an empty space in the office once filled with WW2 planes and family pictures. I hope that you rest in peace and that your family will be comforted in time.

It just goes to show. No matter how we live our lives, whether we are super healthy, super fit, obese, unhappy, fulfilled, loved or unloved…….when your time’s up, your time’s up. There are no second chances, no time for regrets and no looking back. I sincerely hope that you leave this earth without any regrets.

Life here at the office will go on. But you can be sure that your abundant phone calls and visits will be sorely missed by us all.

Regards

Ruby

Dear friend

I did not think your little e-mail stunt this morning was very funny! It was scary and and could have been damn near fatal. I’m still recovering from the hyperventilation and the sudden panic attack. To say i was hysterical would have been an understatement.

You and I have established the fact that I am literally scared to death of anything with eight legs………spiders! Therefore by supplying me with EXHIBIT A caused a slight bit of havoc in my office to say the least.

My usual rational self has become wrought with paranoia and unusually suspicious behaviour.

I would appreciate it if you would in future refrain from including me in such acts of total violence on arachnaphobes.

Yours in sincere panic

Ruby

P.S. EXHIBIT A