Dear Female slave

Now, we’ve been over this many times before. Over this specific thing and all the other really irritatingly stupid things you constantly do. I’ve come to the conclusion that you simply lack the ability to obtain any form of logic. That being said, let me explain this morning’s problem to you again.

I wake up at 5:30 this morning with the following in my ears:”Who you tryin to get crazy with essay? Don’t you know i’m Locco?????” (Is my sms tone). I’m still very much asleep and realise that it could be any number of people experiencing a life threatening crisis, or it could be bad news. So I sit up, grab the phone, by now convinced that something awful has happened to somebody i love, and to my utter disgust, I see your name. OK, so maybe you have a life threatening crisis, I decide to give you the benefit of the doubt and read it :”Hi Ruby,we dnt hv water.pls pls pls give me advice,frkng out,dunno wht 2 do.HELP!” (For the record, the spelling was copied exactly from the sms)

Totally miffed I put the phone down and attempted to get at least another half an hour of sleep. 20 seconds later :”Who you tryin to get crazy with essay? Don’t you know I’m Locco?????”. My irritation and fury knew no bounds as your name flickered on my screen….:”wht shud i do?wht shud i do???”. Once again i ignore. 20 seconds later….you guessed it :”who you tryin…blah blah blah” I almost hurled my phone against my cupboard.

I didn’t even bother reading your last message but sent a snotty reply telling you to use the little water left in the kettle to brush your teeth, or to drive to the nearest cafe/garage shop, buy a bottle of water and brush your teeth and wash your face and get your ass to work.

You still ended up coming to work over an hour late. You’re excuse…we didn’t have any water. ARGH!!!!! So let me explain this to you one last time. My phone number is not your local assistance hotline. The only reason you have it is to let me know when you are sick and can’t come to work, when you are stuck in traffic and will be late for work, or when you are dead, in which case you won’t be able to come to work. It is not to be used to solve life’s mysteries, or to ask for stupid advice, when you don’t even follow my advice to begin with. For the record, you have yet to use my number for any of the allowed reasons, as you usually just do as you please and don’t let me know when you’re late or sick. But oh, when you have a stupid question then you can’t wait to use it.

Seriously…who on earth sms’s or calls their boss to ask them what to do when they have no water??? AND at 5:30 in the bloody morning?????? oh sorry, I forgot, you do…cause you seem to be bereft of all logic, then i again, I guess logic can only exist when you have a brain.

This is officially the last time I’ll be explaining it to you, let the record reflect that this is the 111th time I’ve done this(yes, I counted). Next time I’ll just phone my Mafia connections, and they HATE being woken up at 5:30*evil grin*


Boss Ruby


15 thoughts on “Dear Female slave

  1. BB – he he:) yeah, at least i can still enjoy the humor of the situation…'s just so sad that one person can be so incredibly pathetic. After all of this, and feeling convinced that i'll be furious with her for the rest of the day…I actually feel sorry for her…i just can't help myself. Poor thing.

  2. LOL! i would be soooo pissed off! no one I REPEAT no one!!! should mess with my precious sleep. Unless you want to give me money or shoes or something… hehe

  3. Superficial girl – yeah, by all means wake me up if you're giving me shoes or a shopping trip, but telling me you don't have water… *sigh*Louisa – hell yes! she's been made to run around doing the most irretating work i can find…cept that she keeps doing it wrong so it irritates me more (epic fail).

  4. UPDATE: She then had the audacity to tell me she's leaving early to go take a bath because she feels icky…..the cheek! i put a stop sign in front of her ass so quick she's suffering from whiplash. Feeling icky is not a valid reason to leave an hour early…specially not if you came to work an hour late.

  5. The only people who are allowed to wake me:1) Family,2) Friends (real ones, as opposed to acquaintances)failing that…3) people who put out.A colleague that does this to me and won't put out… well, let's just say I'll be shopping for chickenwire, quicklime, and a roll of carpet in mu lunch hour. (Not for a shovel, I have one of those already.)

  6. Oh good lord!!! You had more patience that I would have! Which is probably why my staff know better than to do crap like that!!!!

  7. Camera Obscura – so if I phoned you…would you come and sort the problem out?Miss M – Yep, sounds about rightKitty – I wish I could!Laura – I think i've tried everything from being a super bitch to being super nice and everything in between…but nothing seems to work. *shakes head* I think it's an incurable disease

  8. Good gravy. Have you seriously told her not to call you except for work related shite and she does it anyway!??!?!

  9. darling globus – Yeah!treat them nice…but not too nice, cause apparently treating them nicely makes them think you are their bestest best friend..blegh! Congrats on the new job BTW!!!!Angel – Yep, I've explained the concept to her many times…but no luck!

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