Category: Life

Dear Hijacker

The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind time that I’ve hardly had time to eat, sleep or even think. Since you ever so carefully bulldozed you way into my perfectly organized life, everything has changed, and tonight for the first time I have the time to just sit down and analyze…something i usually do constantly. If the letter is a bit jumbled and confusing, please bear with me. I’m trying to focus, trying to figure out what the hell is going on…trying to make sense of the situation.

We’ve been friends for months, and never, not even once have i considered the possibility that your little mind was steering our friendship in a completely different direction. Then, two weeks ago, you practically invited yourself to dinner. We had a fabulous time and to my absolute astonishment it was 3 o’clock by the time you finally decided to leave. I never even noticed what time it was….i had trouble sleeping and was amazed at how comfortable it was to have you around.

Since then I’ve seen you every single day. I’ve sms’d you a thousand times, answered your ring tone even more than that and found myself thinking of you more than i felt comfortable to admit.

Our first kiss was gentle and passionate, but a complete surprise. You had manged to catch me completely off guard….not something easily achieved. And even more surprising was the fact that this unexpectedness didn’t bother me at all.

I have no idea where all of this is going. I’m freaked out by the fact that I’m allowing you to bulldoze your way into my life. I’m freaked out by my reaction to all of this. But most of all i think I’m freaked out by the fact that I’ve just realised that I’m falling for you. Hard! I haven’t‘ fallen in love with you, but as i sit here reading this letter i realise that I’m probably heading in that direction….it scares the shit out of me.

Our “relationship”, or whatever you would like to call it, has a different twist to it, and even though i won’t talk about it, I can’t deny that this specific part of your history scares me. I’m grateful for the fact that your realise i have a slight issue with this, and that you’ve been trying your best to make it easy for me.

Last night was the first day in two weeks that i didn’t see you. I missed you…..and that scared me. I felt unsure of myself, which is not something which happens all too often. And I’m upset with myself for this reaction. You wouldn’t be phoning me 200 times a day if you didn’t wanna spend time with me…..i decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and spent some time with the girlies. It was good, but not the same as spending time with you. I’d rather see you ever day……shocking, i know!

I don’t know if it will work out, or whether all of this is just for fun. I’m confused as hell, but most of all I’m having fun. I enjoy your company, you quick wit, your hand on the small of my back when no one else is watching. The stolen kisses and the light touch of you hand on my arm.

I’ve made a decision while writing this letter. I’m usually the over thinker, the too rational person, the over analyzer, and the one who doesn’t risk her heart, because she’s been hurt too many times. The one who’d rather not love at all than have her heart broken. It stops right here. No more!

You make me happy. You make me feel excited about the most mundane little tasks. The thought of you makes me feel like I’ve slept for hours, even though I’ve probably only slept about 12 hours in 2 weeks. You’re the one that makes me feel special for wanting to kill the client whose practically harassing me. The one who makes me feel all silly, and blushy and like I’m a teenager again. I’ve decided to risk it.

I don’t know what the future holds for us, and whether we’ll even make it to a proper relationship…but I’ve also decided that it doesn’t matter. That i have to start living and loving the here and now….even if it means that i might get hurt in the process.

I realise that this letter is all “deurmekaar“, mushy and stupid. But it has helped me focus, it’s helped me make a decision……….it’s helped me realise that I really like you you little clown! Be gentle with this little heart of mine. It’s not given easily and not without a lot of thought and consideration for what might happen. But I’m willing to take the risk and i’m hoping you are too.

Hugs and kisses

Ruby

Dear BF’s love of her life

My excitement about the weekend to be spent with the BF was slightly tainted by the knowledge that I had to meet the new “LOVE”. Much as I love this crazy ho of mine, she sometimes manages to fall in love with the most silly little buggers. And since i liked the last one, but didn’t actually approve of him as her boyfriend, I was slightly sceptical when she told me about you in December.

My suspisions were slightly laid to rest by the things she said about you. You seemed to be working wonders on this woman, so I was in two minds when i set of to Dodgeville for my weekend at the BF.

I was pleasantly surprised by you. You got on well with her parents, you made an effort to get to know me for BF’s sake(thats a first), you bought both of us drinks all night, you have a calm demeanour, you’re independant, not clingy and she can leave you alone while dancing the night away with me, without worrying whether you’ll be Ok, or whether you’ll try and chat someone else up.

You understood her and managed to control her at the same time. Much like me, BF is a strongwilled young lady, who knows what she wants, is willing to fight for it and can sometimes try and sit on a guys head. You, other than all the other guys in her life, is not letting her control you. No wonder she’s so in love with you. You let her do pretty much what she wants, but you’re in control of the relationship…fabulous! You make her feel safe, and loved and cherished.

You weren’t even miffed that she didn’t see you all saturday because the two of us had arranged to do some retail therapy. You quite happily left early on saturday evening so the two of us could get on with our little evening of pampering and girly talk we’ve been planning for weeks. All in all….i’m impressed. And trust me, if you asked BF, she’d tell you that this is an amazing accomplishment, and that you’re also the very first BF love that managed to acquire this honour.

Before i run along and leave you to your carpentry and such, i have one last little piece of advice. Treat my friend with respect, love her and cherish her. Because if you break her heart i will kill you. I will find you and rip your toenails out and kill you slowly and painfully! That girl is like the sister i never had. If you hurt her, you hurt me too, so watch it!

On a more pleasant note, enjoy your week and treat BF on Valentine’s day you hear!

Regards

Ruby

Dear friend

I did not think your little e-mail stunt this morning was very funny! It was scary and and could have been damn near fatal. I’m still recovering from the hyperventilation and the sudden panic attack. To say i was hysterical would have been an understatement.

You and I have established the fact that I am literally scared to death of anything with eight legs………spiders! Therefore by supplying me with EXHIBIT A caused a slight bit of havoc in my office to say the least.

My usual rational self has become wrought with paranoia and unusually suspicious behaviour.

I would appreciate it if you would in future refrain from including me in such acts of total violence on arachnaphobes.

Yours in sincere panic

Ruby

P.S. EXHIBIT A

Dear little food poisoning causer thingies

Seriously guys! Has anyone ever told you that you have a terrible job, you are most unwelcome and you are actually quite hated and despised????

Who likes having food poisoning on a bloody Friday night? Especially when they have a fantastic weekend planned? You’re a bunch of selfish little buggers aren’t you? You only think about yourself when you make someone sick. Couldn’t just for once have asked permission to give someone food poisoning?

There I was on Friday, minding my own business. Going to the movies with an ex(who is now a good friend), having fun, not being all unhealthy and eating all kinds of fast food crap. I opted to rather have supper at home before I leave, as this will minimize the amount of garbage I eat at the movies. It worked like a charm. Anyway, ex C took me home, we had tea, he went home, I went to bed…and then it happened. You little idiots ambushed me!!!

I’m not a person who falls asleep easily, so as i was lying in bed, trying to reach the high way to dreamland, I suddenly didn’t feel all that great. I was overcome by wave after wave of nausea. Now I realise that most people really dislike throwing up, being nauseous etc. Take that dislike and times it by about 10 000….I never throw up! I hate it! My mom always use to say that if I did throw up(maybe a total of 5 times in my lifetime) i had to be really really sick.

So i just lay there in bed trying to control it. But alas! sometimes whatever is in just has to get out. So i did end up in the bathroom. And to my utter disgust it just didn’t stop. I couldn’t even attempt to get out of the bathroom. At last, to your entertainment i suppose, i ended up fetching a blanket and a pillow and i simply stayed in the loo the whole bloody night! Gosh i really really hate you guys!!! I’ve never had food poisoning before…but don’t you ever dare knocking on my door again you hear!

The really gross thing was, is that as I was sitting there I really couldn’t help wondering where all this came from???? I mean seriously, I didn’t eat all that much on Friday???? and then I had this flashback to some comedian who did this thing on the stomach when one starts drinking. And then at some point the tequila always shows up…and they’re going “we don’t want no trouble”, and finally a fight breaks out in your stomach and he shouts that everybody has to leave, and then there is this hot dog, that shouts “This is ridiculous….I’ve been here for 9 years!”
Can anybody help me out as to who the comedian is?? and what that piece is called?

Disgusting as this my sound, I found it quite entertaining at 4am while I was sitting in the loo with blanket and pillow calling George all night. I finally got the courage to creep back to my bed at about 8am…where i finally fell into an exhausted coma while daring you little idiots to make me call George again. I only woke up at about 4, feeling absolutely crap mind you, and thought that i might be dehydrated. I fell into your trap…silly Ruby! so i tried some black rooibos tea. But that didn’t work so well and after feeling that George must be getting really tired of me shouting his name the whole time finally fell asleep again.

I suppose in the long run I’ve shown you guys a thing or two though. Most of my friends stay sick a whole lot longer when they have food poisoning. I’m back at work, and although I’m slightly low on energy, I manage to consume a little bit of food this morning without feeling the need to call for George’s help. So eat that you little buggers!

Gosh how i hate you! Please please please, never ever ever come to this house again!!! You’ll be really really sorry!!!!!

Ruby

P.S. Consider this my first hate mail

Dear Big Brother

So how has the States been? Married life treating you well? Enjoying the new job? Enjoying the new car?

You are celebrating you birthday on Sunday. And as I’m not completely sure whether I’ll be able to e-mail you on Sunday, I decided to drop you a quick note just to say happy happy, tons of blessing, love to the family and that I love you. Your birthday card is in the mail, but I suspect it will show up a tad late, as I only managed to get it in the post this week.

To my utter disgrace I couldn’t hold back the tears as I was writing the mail. I just couldn’t help myself. It was just one of those times where the tears manage to sneak up on you, and before you realise it your mascara is running and your face is all wet, and you can’t see the computer screen properly. Gosh, I’m such a ninny! I’m quite sure you would have been laughing your head off if you had seen me….but only to hide your own emotion, I’m sure.

We have always been close the two of us. Yes yes, I know, we had our fair share of fights as youngsters, but as we grew up and you left for uni we came to realise that we love each other. You, the older brother who despite having a black belt in karate at age 11 doesn’t believe in violence, but quite gladly beat a guy to absolute mince meat for shoving me around.

You’ve been my mentor, comfort, protector, soundboard, partner in crime and best friend for so many years. I find it odd that even though I missed you when you spent 4 years working in the UK, it was nothing in comparison to how I’ve missed you the past year.

I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that you are now married, to an American, that you’ve received your green card, that you have a great job, and that I’ve since realised that this time it’s more permanent. While in the UK there was always the fact that you were coming back home to look forward to, which I supposed fooled us into missing each other less. Now however, the chances of you coming back are small. Sure, you guys plan to come visit every once in 2 years, and I’m planing a couple of trips. But i have to live with the knowledge, that never again will we be able to spend the carefree time of our youth together. We’re both a whole bunch older, your married and your baby sister is a boss for crying out loud.

I’m so glad you found a girl who loves you so much that her face positively shines whenever she sees you. I’m grateful that she shares your passion and vision and that her family has embraced you and treats you like a prince.

Once again I find myself wiping tears from my face. Damn! I hate it when i become all soft and mushy! Now, before I start crying my little heart out because I miss you so much it actually sorta hurts.

Happy Birthday! I hope this year exceeds your expectations. That you’ll be happy and incredibly blessed. And of course…..I can’t wait for you guys to come visit in March

Lots of love

Sussie