Yesterday marked the 4 year anniversary or that dreadful night. The night you chose to do something irresponsible, the night that for a while I was convinced had ruined my life, the night that changed my life and me forever.

Now, 4 years down the line I can look back and see all the good things that came from it. I walked away from that accident a stronger person. More aware of how much the people around me cared for me. How incredibly blessed I am. And definitely a person who spends less time over thinking things, choosing rather to LIVE!

I wrote all of my feelings and all the details with regards to that accident 2 years ago here, and today i really can look back and say that so much have changed. No longer do i feel anger or resentment. I think, finally after 4 years, i have fully forgiven you. And I’m moving on completely.

I suppose I’ll always remember 28 September. It was afterall a life changing experience for me….but maybe now I won’t remember it with sadness and anger. But rather with celebration and thanksgiving.

Regards

Ruby

So, thanks to inspiration from Sleepyjane, I’ve decided to write this letter. You my dear ruby are in desperate need of a good talking to, and i plan to give it to you, without any sugar coating this time. So listen up!

1. Yes, you acted like a complete idiot. Shit happens, so get over it OK? You’ve been blessed with a mouth and fingers that blurt out whatever is on your mind before you have the chance to think about it and realise it’s a bad idea. You should be used to it by now…..accept it and embrace it…it’s part of your charm:P

2. Stop being so hard on yourself. You tend to be overly forgiving when it comes to other people, but ride yourself into the ground over even the slightest misstep from your side. You are not perfect, and therefore you can not always do the right thing. Admit the mistake and move on.

3. Your slaves are idiots….Stop being so disappointed and surprised whenever they make a mess of things. This has become the norm rather than the exception and is not a reflection on you. Your boss knows this.

4. Pepper spray is meant for criminals. Not for self mutilation. Once can be excused….twice just makes you a chop!

5. You need to start eating like a normal human being. It is not acceptable to not eat for 48 hours…regardless of whether you’re hungry or not. Eat at least twice a day from now on.

6. You need to stop complaining so much. You are blessed with a life that mostly resembles a fairy tale…you need to remember this more often.

7. Working and studying full time is tough. You can not have the same social schedule you had before. You’re going to need to scale down and be more picky about where you go, who you go with and what you do. Try and choose your social events in such a way that you get to see the maximum amount of people…and if there are people who refuse to understand that you can not just leave everything to see them the way you used to, well, then maybe they are not worth leaving everything to go and see to begin with. True friends will have sympathy for your situation, they will also be aware of the fact that if it was an emergency, no amount of work would ever be able to keep you away.

8. And last but certainly not least. It might be advisable to get at least 2 hours of sleep each night. Now i realise it’s not your fault you have insomnia, and that currently your insomniac ways is probably a blessing…but you can only go on for so long with no sleep…it’s going to get you eventually…honest!

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

This started out as a very emotional and heart wrenching post…but after much deliberation I ended up deleting the whole thing. I miss you, I’m worried about you and I wish that things were still they way they used to be. You were my boy, my friend and a ray of sunshine in my life. These days I hardly see you. I have no idea what is going on in your life, and the little I do know I hear from other people or through FB. I’m not sure where exactly the distance came from. I don’t think either of us are to blame…I suppose it’s just one of those things…but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

But before I become all emotional and girly I just wanted to tell you this. I miss you! More than you can ever imagine. And I will always love you in that special way that we love each other. Closer than the bestest of friends and yet, no more than friends. Look after yourself you hear.

I love you

Ruby
xxxxx

What a weekend! I’m dead tired, and the week’s only just started, although, that might be due to the fact that i only went to bed at 3 last night rather than a busy weekend:)

So on Friday and Monday I undertook the journey to and from the parentals and in the process was subjected to the national sport of the Free State – Pot hole dodging. I’m pretty good at it too….since I’ve been doing it for years traveling between uni at home at least 4 times a year and between jhb and home in more recent years. On Monday however, some poor dude wasn’t quite as good at it as he thought, and his reckless 160km/h on a road so riddled with potholes that they should have a warning saying “Caution, sections of road ahead” instead of “Potholes for next 100km” ended in a nasty wreckage. He was hurt, but apparently no permanent damage was done to him…the car however was a complete write off.

On Saturday we travelled down to my gran for the day. Yes, she lives 250km away, and yes we often just go for the day. And yes, i guess we might be just a little odd. Anyhoodle, to get back to my story. The reason we went is because she needed us to help her pack up her things, and to go through the stuff she won’t be able to take with her and divide it between the children and grandchildren. See, earlier this year she fell and broke her back. At 83 she is still living on her own and looking after herself quite well actually, but after the fall she realised that she can’t continue to live on her own indefinitely. So she’s decided to move in with my aunt, but she’ll be visiting all the children for long periods of time, so she’ll only be there like 3 months in the year anyway.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled at going through her stuff and helping to divide it up and choosing what i wanted. It felt like a gross invasion of privacy. Like we were scratching through her whole life, looking for the parts we wanted most and ripping them from her life. It almost felt like we were saying goodbye. Quite a few tears were shed during the course of the day by my gran, my mom and her sisters and also us grandchildren. But the day was also filled with tons of old stories, tales of how and when a certain object was obtained…..i realised that my Gran’s life had been filled with amazing stories.

When we got their my gran called me aside with a very mischievous look on her face. In her room she had hidden a number of articles which she didn’t want anybody but me to have, since I’m the oldest granddaughter. Now, I’ve never been a very sentimental person, but this weekend I discovered that faced with certain situations I can be extremely sentimental and also emotional…who would have thought. The first thing she gave me was my great grandmother’s recipe book. Now i realise that this sounds ridiculous, but bear in mind that this book is more than a century old. It’s historical value alone is overwhelming, but of course the sentimental value was the one that got me. The second item which want to mention specifically is a small hand embroidered purse which contained a 100 year old threepence. I knew about this little purse and coin and before my gran even managed to say anything i was in tears. You see, my great gran used to say that you always have to carry a little money with you in the form of change, in case of emergency or in case you needed to phone. So she always carried this purse with the coin in her handbag, and when she was really old she gave it to my gran. And although she knew it was silly and sentimental since she could do nothing with a threepence she carried it with her all these years. And she wanted me, as the eldest grand daughter, to have it, and to do with it whatever i please. 3 Guesses where that little purse is right at this very moment 😀

I spent the most of the rest of the weekend working on ASSignments which were due today, and yay me! because i e-mailed them in earlier today:) On my way back yesterday I encountered something which is neither strange nor uncommon considering where I grew up. It made me smile, knowing that my journey was being delayed by 15min because of this
Thank you, dear ghost of weekend past for an awesome weekend. For the time I got to spend with my parentals and with my gran and with the other family:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Well, as you guys know I had my birthday party at your restaurant not so long ago. Despite the fact that I was almost an hour late for my own party…i swear this was totally outside of my control….we had an amazing time. The food was absolutely awesome and a good time was had by all. Here are some of the pictures we took.

Regards

Ruby
xxxxxxx
Getting my face painted

With some of the friendstersMe and My boysMore friendsters