Seriously dude…its been 2 freakin years! i think its time the consequences of you insanity stops haunting me…..but then again,I’ve been told that’s wishful thinking. Whether I want to or not I’m going to have to remember you for ever and ever, or at least until I die anyway.

I think I’ve come through the worst of the trauma associated with the accident. And I’ve healed up pretty well, Thank God! But every day I am reminded of that fateful night….the night you decided to drink to much and chase around the suburbs at a 160km/h…..who the hell gave you the right you bastard!

Predictably enough you weren’t injured…isn’t that just sooo typical. I on the other hand was rushed to hospital. I had to phone the parentals all the way in Natal at 12 o’clock at night, I had 3 emergency operations, I was in hospital for two weeks, bedridden for 2 months, my car was wrecked, I am now officially a woman of steel and I, who have never in her life had headaches, now get them on an almost daily basis.

I have to admit, I healed up just fine;-) I was blessed enough not to have any scars except for the tiny ones on my leg and hand where the operations were, I walk normally, I look normal, i do all the normal things, all in all I am pretty much normal. But the steel plate an screws in my leg will forever hurt when the weather changes and will set off every single metal detector I have to pass through. And it will also cause the American embassy to think I am a terrorist, by the way! The damage done to my neck was more severe than initially thought. Granted, I am grateful that I didn’t break my neck…but at times the headaches are unbearable and I have become a real little pill popper when it gets really bad.

I’m still upset at the cops for merely sitting in their car. Their only only question to me was..”did someone die?” WTF????????From the stretcher I yelled a loud and unmistakable “NO”. And that was that…they left. No breathalyzer for you, who was so drunk that none of us could understand a single bloody word you were saying.

The very thought of you causes tension in my body and I become all nauseated. But in some arb way I am grateful. I am glad that I am still alive(although you had nothing to do with that!) But these days I’m a way more alert driver, I am more grateful for all the little things I have and thanks to you I now drive a gorgeous little car…which is now 2 years old, but brand new when I got it after the 2 months of lying in bed. If the old one didn’t end its life so dramatically I would probably have driven it for years….old as it might have been…it was my first car, my baby…gosh, we had so many memories the two of us;-)

I have no idea what happened to you after the last time you phoned me while I was in hospital. As I was in a drug induced state I do not recall much of the conversations apart from me crying and screaming at you to leave me the hell alone…you’ve done enough to ruin my life……..or something like that anyway.

I hope that these days you are a more responsible driver. I hope that somewhere along the line you had made peace with yourself, as i do remember you being riled with self reproach and loathing after you got the news of my injuries. I sincerely hoped that you have learned from you mistake. I think the real reason for this letter is just to tell you that I am OK. Actually, I’m better than OK…I’m great. And I forgive you for everything that has happened to me…I really do.

Regards

Ruby

Hey Crazy Ho!!

So its that time again hey? The time where the bug bites and you decide to head off again? I should be used to it by now, and in many ways I am…but i still miss you when you’re gone….and i always wait in great anticipation on your return.

I am so sorry that you didn’t get your visa:-( I was so sure you would! But maybe it’s a sign. Maybe the US and private yachts just weren’t the way to go. Maybe, just maybe, there is something way better out there for you. Just waiting for you to stumble across it. I know you’ll find it:-) you’re already looking, searching, hunting for it. Its exciting to watch;-)

Sometimes i wish that i could go with you on all these trips. All the adventures and all the nightmares that come with it. But my life is different from yours. My career took a whole different road. But please know that I am always here for you.

These days when i sit back and think about when we met, i laugh with tears running down my face. Who could have imagined?? Where would you find a pair more different and yet so alike? I’ve tried to think about the exact moment when we became best friends….two strangers thrown together in an adventure. After much thought i came down to one single moment in time not long after we met. It was the night we were finally initiated into the clan. After being painted, deep heated, bathed in foul smelling, rotten fish infested dam water we had to rush to our room to get all dressed up in the most tapped way imaginable. No bathing/showering allowed. We didn’t want to get our room all dirtied by our smelly clothes and bodies….so what did we do? I’ll never forget the image of the 2 of us standing in our door butt naked, wet, freezing, smelling awful but laughing at each other. That is the moment when we cemented our friendship. And what an awesome friendship it has become. An odd pair we might be(Chartered Accountant + Graphic Designer = Chaos)

We have seen each other at our worst…and nothing you could possibly do would surprise me anymore. You have become like the sister i never had. You understand me, my silly sense of humour and of course the fact that i have a few weirdeties. You have never judged me. You have never tried to lead me anywhere, but rather stand next to me holding my hand, running through unknown territory with me. Ever willing to fall as long as I fall along with you.

Our chamber song is known by all who know and love us. And sometimes, just sometimes i wince when i think of the two of us dancing on bars singing it over karaoke mics…..but mostly it just makes me laugh.
“I’m young and I’m hopeless
I’m lost and I know this
Going nowhere fast that’s what they say
I’m troublesome I’m fallen
I’m angry at my father
Its me against this world and I don’t care!”

I’d like to think that somewhere along the 7 years we have becoming slightly less hopeless, and that we are no longer going nowhere fast and that you at least are no longer angry at your dad. I never was, but the chamber song only worked if both of us were singing….so i just smiled and shouted along with you;-)

And do you remember our pathetic attempt at a Chamber cheer??? They weren’t very impressed with us, but we collapsed in mirth. Ignored orders to “Stop laughing” and of course had to carry the consequences of our “senseless” act…At least it was worth it. I can’t remember when last I had laughed that hard!

I wish you luck on your latest adventure. And i hope that you will be returning safely in due time so we can fulfill all those dreams we had about growing old together. Come back in one piece OK?

Love

Chamber Ruby