Seriously guys! Has anyone ever told you that you have a terrible job, you are most unwelcome and you are actually quite hated and despised????

Who likes having food poisoning on a bloody Friday night? Especially when they have a fantastic weekend planned? You’re a bunch of selfish little buggers aren’t you? You only think about yourself when you make someone sick. Couldn’t just for once have asked permission to give someone food poisoning?

There I was on Friday, minding my own business. Going to the movies with an ex(who is now a good friend), having fun, not being all unhealthy and eating all kinds of fast food crap. I opted to rather have supper at home before I leave, as this will minimize the amount of garbage I eat at the movies. It worked like a charm. Anyway, ex C took me home, we had tea, he went home, I went to bed…and then it happened. You little idiots ambushed me!!!

I’m not a person who falls asleep easily, so as i was lying in bed, trying to reach the high way to dreamland, I suddenly didn’t feel all that great. I was overcome by wave after wave of nausea. Now I realise that most people really dislike throwing up, being nauseous etc. Take that dislike and times it by about 10 000….I never throw up! I hate it! My mom always use to say that if I did throw up(maybe a total of 5 times in my lifetime) i had to be really really sick.

So i just lay there in bed trying to control it. But alas! sometimes whatever is in just has to get out. So i did end up in the bathroom. And to my utter disgust it just didn’t stop. I couldn’t even attempt to get out of the bathroom. At last, to your entertainment i suppose, i ended up fetching a blanket and a pillow and i simply stayed in the loo the whole bloody night! Gosh i really really hate you guys!!! I’ve never had food poisoning before…but don’t you ever dare knocking on my door again you hear!

The really gross thing was, is that as I was sitting there I really couldn’t help wondering where all this came from???? I mean seriously, I didn’t eat all that much on Friday???? and then I had this flashback to some comedian who did this thing on the stomach when one starts drinking. And then at some point the tequila always shows up…and they’re going “we don’t want no trouble”, and finally a fight breaks out in your stomach and he shouts that everybody has to leave, and then there is this hot dog, that shouts “This is ridiculous….I’ve been here for 9 years!”
Can anybody help me out as to who the comedian is?? and what that piece is called?

Disgusting as this my sound, I found it quite entertaining at 4am while I was sitting in the loo with blanket and pillow calling George all night. I finally got the courage to creep back to my bed at about 8am…where i finally fell into an exhausted coma while daring you little idiots to make me call George again. I only woke up at about 4, feeling absolutely crap mind you, and thought that i might be dehydrated. I fell into your trap…silly Ruby! so i tried some black rooibos tea. But that didn’t work so well and after feeling that George must be getting really tired of me shouting his name the whole time finally fell asleep again.

I suppose in the long run I’ve shown you guys a thing or two though. Most of my friends stay sick a whole lot longer when they have food poisoning. I’m back at work, and although I’m slightly low on energy, I manage to consume a little bit of food this morning without feeling the need to call for George’s help. So eat that you little buggers!

Gosh how i hate you! Please please please, never ever ever come to this house again!!! You’ll be really really sorry!!!!!

Ruby

P.S. Consider this my first hate mail

So how has the States been? Married life treating you well? Enjoying the new job? Enjoying the new car?

You are celebrating you birthday on Sunday. And as I’m not completely sure whether I’ll be able to e-mail you on Sunday, I decided to drop you a quick note just to say happy happy, tons of blessing, love to the family and that I love you. Your birthday card is in the mail, but I suspect it will show up a tad late, as I only managed to get it in the post this week.

To my utter disgrace I couldn’t hold back the tears as I was writing the mail. I just couldn’t help myself. It was just one of those times where the tears manage to sneak up on you, and before you realise it your mascara is running and your face is all wet, and you can’t see the computer screen properly. Gosh, I’m such a ninny! I’m quite sure you would have been laughing your head off if you had seen me….but only to hide your own emotion, I’m sure.

We have always been close the two of us. Yes yes, I know, we had our fair share of fights as youngsters, but as we grew up and you left for uni we came to realise that we love each other. You, the older brother who despite having a black belt in karate at age 11 doesn’t believe in violence, but quite gladly beat a guy to absolute mince meat for shoving me around.

You’ve been my mentor, comfort, protector, soundboard, partner in crime and best friend for so many years. I find it odd that even though I missed you when you spent 4 years working in the UK, it was nothing in comparison to how I’ve missed you the past year.

I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that you are now married, to an American, that you’ve received your green card, that you have a great job, and that I’ve since realised that this time it’s more permanent. While in the UK there was always the fact that you were coming back home to look forward to, which I supposed fooled us into missing each other less. Now however, the chances of you coming back are small. Sure, you guys plan to come visit every once in 2 years, and I’m planing a couple of trips. But i have to live with the knowledge, that never again will we be able to spend the carefree time of our youth together. We’re both a whole bunch older, your married and your baby sister is a boss for crying out loud.

I’m so glad you found a girl who loves you so much that her face positively shines whenever she sees you. I’m grateful that she shares your passion and vision and that her family has embraced you and treats you like a prince.

Once again I find myself wiping tears from my face. Damn! I hate it when i become all soft and mushy! Now, before I start crying my little heart out because I miss you so much it actually sorta hurts.

Happy Birthday! I hope this year exceeds your expectations. That you’ll be happy and incredibly blessed. And of course…..I can’t wait for you guys to come visit in March

Lots of love

Sussie

Welcome to the family sweetheart! You are now a full 3 months old and curious about the world around you. You are one gorgeous baby by the way…….and as babies go I suppose you’re not too bad….even your auntie Ruby can stand to have you around for the most part.

My heart is however quite saddened every time I hold your sweet little hand, or look into those big blue eyes. You have no idea of what the life ahead holds for you. You are the child of a single mother, who has no job, cannot look after herself, drops you onto everybody’s lap but her own at every chance she gets, who smokes like a chimney while breastfeeding and who is but a child herself.

You were unplanned, an accident, not wanted initially and a little girl who will never know who her father is, as you mommy has no clue. But do not think bad of your mother…….she is doing the best she can, and I will give her plenty credit for that. The decision to keep you was a big and mature decision to begin with…..and while looking at the bigger picture I don’t think she’s doing too bad of a job. She’s trying her best, her mother is helping out a whole lot and the whole family has gathered around our little angel baby. We love you dear!

My cousin, your mommy, is starting her brand new job today. I phoned her this morning to see how she’s doing…..she was heartbroken at having to leave you at the lady who is looking after you. But you’re a happy little baby and didn’t even cry once. You’ll be just fine……now we just have to try and convince your crying little mommy of this.

Everybody was shocked and I suppose a little disappointed when we hear about your mommy’s lifestyle and that she was pregnant with no idea of who the father was. But we love her. She’s a sweet little thing and packed the bull by the horns when it came to facing the consequences. I wasn’t disappointed just flabbergasted that in this day and age with AIDS and all, that some people still refuse to use birth control pills, condoms(don’t worry about not knowing what these are yet) etc when having a little fun. What on earth was she thinking??? Not only did she have to cope with the fact that she was pregnant……she also had to cope with the trauma of going for HIV testing.

But of course, then your little angel face showed up after 9 months. And although some of the aunts and uncles had up until that time felt saddened and angry about her situation, all those feelings were lost the moment they laid eyes on you. And you charmed all of them….even the most grumpy. You’re mommy will have to buy a shotgun when you get a little older!!!!

I just have one piece of advice for you. Regardless of how sweet you are, and how cute you are or how you laugh and hold out your little arms when you see me……crying your auntie Ruby awake at half past 5 on Christmas morning is just not on!

Lots of love, hugs and kisses

Auntie Ruby