I think today’s entry should be titled “Goodbye Jack, hello friend”, or something like that anyway. I’ve been struggling with something the last couple of days. Pretty much all on my own, not wanting to say it out loud in case it might just become true. But after mulling it over in my own mind until it drove me a little insane, i finnaly managed to chat to 2 of my chums…….and predictably they weren’t pleased about the situation, but the sympathy and cyber hugs i received was enough to make me sit down, face up, build a *bridge and get over it.
I suspect the undefinable “relationship” between my darling Jack and I are shifting gears. No longer is it the relationships of 2 sweethearts but rather a solid friendship, which found it’s foundation in romance. Perhaps that is slightly odd, but i’ve come to realise that i’d rather have him as a friend than not have him as part of my life.
The odd thing is that neither of us did anything wrong or even said anything to that effect…..it just changed. I think on some level we’re still crazy about each other….oh all right….I’m still crazy about him, but I’ve also realised that despite the fact that i’ve had my head solidly turned for a while, he is not MY Prince Charming. He’s definitely a prince charming and a fabulous guy….but i’ve come to accept that perhaps our relationship is not meant to be.
As I’m writing this I realise that there is a distinct possibility that I could be over reacting. Using this overthinking, over analytical brain of mine to construct a little situation that doesn’t really excist simply because I’m, well, thinking about it too much. So I guess the two of us will definitely have to have a little talk, and soon. This little gem needs some closure to put her overthinking little mind at ease.
The really funny thing is that I’m not upset about this at all. I thought i’d feel really sad and a little broken hearted, coming to the conclusion that it’s all over romantically, but I’m not. And at present i’m trying really hard not to overthink my lack of upsetness.
After scaning through some of my diary entries in the last couple of years I came to a conclusion. (bridgy, this one is for you) I definitely haven’t met MY Prince Charming yet. I’ve met plenty of guys who impersonate my prince charming, which tends to confuse me for a while, but I’ve never met My Prince Charming.
Anywhoo little booklet…….I feel good;) I’ve faced my fear with regards to Jack and I came out alive at the other end. I think I can safely say that regardless of how this pans out, i’ll be OK. I’ve accepted worst case scenario….so if I end up being wrong…..man am I gonna be excited!
P.S. – *Once again not refering to Bridget here!