Dear Diary

I think today’s entry should be titled “Goodbye Jack, hello friend”, or something like that anyway. I’ve been struggling with something the last couple of days. Pretty much all on my own, not wanting to say it out loud in case it might just become true. But after mulling it over in my own mind until it drove me a little insane, i finnaly managed to chat to 2 of my chums…….and predictably they weren’t pleased about the situation, but the sympathy and cyber hugs i received was enough to make me sit down, face up, build a *bridge and get over it.

I suspect the undefinable “relationship” between my darling Jack and I are shifting gears. No longer is it the relationships of 2 sweethearts but rather a solid friendship, which found it’s foundation in romance. Perhaps that is slightly odd, but i’ve come to realise that i’d rather have him as a friend than not have him as part of my life.

The odd thing is that neither of us did anything wrong or even said anything to that effect… just changed. I think on some level we’re still crazy about each other….oh all right….I’m still crazy about him, but I’ve also realised that despite the fact that i’ve had my head solidly turned for a while, he is not MY Prince Charming. He’s definitely a prince charming and a fabulous guy….but i’ve come to accept that perhaps our relationship is not meant to be.

As I’m writing this I realise that there is a distinct possibility that I could be over reacting. Using this overthinking, over analytical brain of mine to construct a little situation that doesn’t really excist simply because I’m, well, thinking about it too much. So I guess the two of us will definitely have to have a little talk, and soon. This little gem needs some closure to put her overthinking little mind at ease.

The really funny thing is that I’m not upset about this at all. I thought i’d feel really sad and a little broken hearted, coming to the conclusion that it’s all over romantically, but I’m not. And at present i’m trying really hard not to overthink my lack of upsetness.

After scaning through some of my diary entries in the last couple of years I came to a conclusion. (bridgy, this one is for you) I definitely haven’t met MY Prince Charming yet. I’ve met plenty of guys who impersonate my prince charming, which tends to confuse me for a while, but I’ve never met My Prince Charming.

Anywhoo little booklet…….I feel good;) I’ve faced my fear with regards to Jack and I came out alive at the other end. I think I can safely say that regardless of how this pans out, i’ll be OK. I’ve accepted worst case scenario….so if I end up being wrong… am I gonna be excited!



P.S. – *Once again not refering to Bridget here!


17 thoughts on “Dear Diary

  1. La! my edit toolbar still aint working, so don’t you dare say anything about spelling, my lack of links or anything to that effect!

  2. i don’t get it… jack sounds great… remember that you don’t have to marry this guy, why break up a good thing only because you ultimately don’t want to marry him… maybe you are overreacting just a teensy weensy bit… have fun!

  3. oh no no no! that’s not what i’m saying at all! it’s not that i’m breaking up with him or anything. It’s just that i’ve noticed a definite change in our relationship….and it’s coming from both parties. The only reason i need to speak to him is because I need clarity on what’s going on. Get his opinion and stuff…..we’re very open about all of this. It’s a bit difficult to explain our relationship…….it’s very different to your normal run of the mill dating…….I’ve tried explaining it to a couple of people and failed dismally….so i’m not gonna try again. This is just me sorting out my mind. Facing up to the fact that there is a change, and figuring out what that change is. That doesn’t neccesarily mean that we won’t still be seeing each other. Lucky for me he knows how my mind works…so he’ll be cool about it when i approach the subject;)

  4. Sometimes it happens. The guy that your crazy about becomes your best friend. You love him and you don’t ever want to lose him. If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking just ask yourself a question:Can I see myself being with this guy forever?If you can then your just moving the relationship up a level. The romance is still there but you’ve realised that it goes deeper than that.See how he feels. Take it from there. good luck babe xx

  5. As long as it’s not a case of, “Denial aint just a rive in Egypt” hun, then I hope this new relationship with HIJACKER brings you as much joy as the other possible one did.Yes, he was impersonating your Mr Right, but he is evidently someone else’s. I would tell you to send him my way, but my circumstances have changed.

  6. Oi vey…been there…done that! It’s both confusing & not…*BF & I will always have our connection…hell I go apeshit when another girl is sniffing around him…he’s my best mate…the one I tell everything yet always have an attraction for him!There are the things that piss me off to high hell vs. those that make him my prince charming…but not the one!It happens & as long as you’re cool with it…then great! Play it out though…good things could come of it! But like Elise says, can you see yourself being with him forever?!? I couldn’t with *BF…as best mates yes but nothing else! And our relationship now is as good as ever minus the bedroom antics!*sigh* I really want to find my Mr Darcy though!

  7. You sound very much like me Ruby – not your current situation necessarily but the fact that you over-analyse every thing, and end up doing your own head in the process.Good luck with it though…

  8. So I came to address you in your comments section and not Bridget’s and then I got sidetracked by how cool your blog is and now I jst want to say that I think you are very wise in the way you are looking at the situation with Jack. Not that I knwo you from a bar of soap, but I went through that with a guy a few years back and now he’s one of my best friends, going out with someone else, and I am happily married to my real Prince Charming. Good on you and good luck for seeing where this tunnel goes 🙂

  9. elise – It’s exactly that question that i’m trying to sort out for myself;) thanx for the advice hunBridgy – who still insists on calling him HIJACKER;) It’s not…and the relationship hasn’t been decided yet…this is just me figuring out what’s going on….and no! you can’t have him;) you might be too much woman for him to handle hun:)KaB – Thanx sweety pie:) Is all good!Amy – Thanx for the luck! yes, i’m a total overanalyser and overthinker…it’s terrible sometimes, but mostly i like being that way;)Tamara – Welcome to my little world, and thank you;)*blushing*Yes, I agree with you…my prince charming is running around somewhere…i have to go find him…or rather, i have to wait for him to come find me;)

  10. Good luck with sorting out what you really want… as long as you’re not overanalyasing TOO much, nature should take its course I think.And if you’re not that upset, that’s probably a clear indication that it’s not really meant to be. IMO.xx

  11. oh ruby!!wow… i do hope you manage to speak to him soon and get some clarity as you put it…i overthink things all the time too, so i hope for the sake of being mushy and soppy that you’re wrong!

  12. Rub-inator, I think i might have a crush on you! This is exactly the kind of thing I do. Overanalyse my way into a place where I’m no longer getting out what I expected to. But I keep convincing myself that really, the person that can overanalyse things as much as me might keep me around.

  13. lopz – thanx hun:) i’m trying not to overthink it too much;) I’m just going with the flow and enjoying life at the moment….too many friends, too much work, too many parties, too many gorgeous men in my life, too little time…that’s the ruby curse…he he:)SvD – you do? oh goody!!!!so you think you can overanalyze as mucha s me then??? kindred spirit..there are so few of us left:)

  14. what do you mean by that? did I say too much? or too little? what did she think of my shirt? was it tucked in? holy crap look at that huge patch taht i missed while shaving in the dark? did I laugh too hard or not enough? where’s my potato? why am I thinking so much? calm down! why am i thinking about potatoes? what happened to my pet frog?”….sorry, what’s your name again?”

  15. elise, as usual, speaks a lot of sense.if you don’t feel sad then things are probably heading in the right direction. what that means exactly is for you and jack to determine, bean counter. globus had a similar sentiment ending his last job. he hasn’t looked back since. it makes for a good moment of clarity.

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