I’m writing this amid a violent storm of tears and a runny nose. I’m scared, and upset and worried all at the same time.
You’ve been sick for 2 weeks now. You’ve been to the doctor quite a few times, and every single time they’ve changed your medicine, but you just keep getting worse. I don’t know quite how sick you were, because all I had to go by was the reports i got over the phone from you and mom…watered down of course, not to get your precious little princess worried and upset.
But this morning you you phoned me at 9. A weird time for you to phone, since you only bother me at work when there is some kind of an emergency. You said you had bad news. You guys were leaving home to drive the 500km’s to Pretoria………you had to book into the hospital by lunchtime. I tried my very best not to burst into tears. I’m trying to be strong for you daddy.
When you woke up this morning you felt so bad that you finally resorted in going back to the doctor for the umpteenth time. He got really worried and phoned the respiratory specialist in Pretoria…..he commanded you to be booked into his hospital by lunch. Nobody knows what’s wrong, but you’re only getting sicker, not better.
I know you’re trying to be strong for mom’s sake, for my sake, for my brother and sister-in-law who arrived from the states yesterday. But it’s OK to be scared…..I am. It was so good picking the family up at the airport and seeing the two lovebirds after more than i year. I missed them more than i thought was possible and had to wipe a tear or two when they appeared. I had to deliver the bad news to them this morning…..i almost burst into tears talking to my bro. We were on our way to you guys tomorrow…now goodness knows what’s going on.
I’ll see mom tonight, and I’ll try and come to the hospital tomorrow. Jack* has been an absolute sweetheart and phoned me the second he could. Worried about you but mostly worried about me. I cried about it for the first time. Telling him how scared and upset he was. He understood, he calmed me down and after hearing his voice for two seconds i felt better. I felt safe. And i knew it was OK to be vulnerable…..someone is there to take care of me.
I pray to God that you’ll be OK, and that they’ll be able to find out what’s wrong. You’ll always be my daddy dearest. I love you papa!
Your little princess
*Shortened version of Hijacker:)