Dear Treadmill

Yes yes I know…….treadmills are created for the sole purpose of running/walking as exercise, not to fall over. But it wasn’t entirely my fault and I’m pretty peeved at you at the moment.

On Saturday night we went over to a friends house for a braai.(The very same braai I invited gorgeous to) The idea was that I was supposed to look super cool, super gorgeous, in control and everything but clumsy and accident prone….which is something I tend to be every now and again. But you just had to go and spoil it all didn’t you????

For some odd reason you have been placed right in front of the door going out to the lapa…goodness knows why??? but this means that in order to get in or out you have to squash yourself between the door frame and you, dearest darling treadmill. Earlier in the evening you almost tripped me….quite by accident I suppose. But I can’t afford to go falling all over the place, so I asked you owner to either move you or to just fold the treading part up(the way you are supposed to be when not in use).

I was promised that the treadmill had been moved and that it is now safe for me to move in and out without fearing that you might cause my bodily harm. Like a fool I believed them! I was sitting outside with Gorgeous, having a drink and minding my own business when I suddenly remembered about the bread in the oven….damn! I made a mad dash for the kitchen…and lo and behold…whose still lying across the entrance….you!!! you lousy peace of torturing equipment!

Too late did I realise the trap you had set in the dark. I hit my foot against you with such force that I heard bone crack, the next moment i was sprawled all over you, trying my best not too cry and not sure whether the tears were from embarrassment or pain(trust me…it was the pain!!!). Lucky for me Gorgeous heard the commotion inside and like the true gentleman he is he came to my rescue. Plenty of ice, another drink and unexpected kiss made me feel a little better…until I realised my whole foot was blue…as in deep blue…on top and I had a lump the size of my foot on top of my foot!!!! I couldn’t put my shoe back on…sigh!

But your evil plan to make me appear like a complete idiot didn’t succeed you mean spirited devil machine! He just liked me so much more…since apparently he saw a side of me which didn’t appear 100% perfect and now he felt less intimidated by the fact that it seems as if I never do anything stupid or wrong(boy, if he only knew!)

Even though your evil plot failed I still have to live with the consequences of your evil doings:-( So I’ve been limping around my clients office, kicking off the shoes whenever I can, and feeling like a good cry every time I move my foot at all……starting to wonder if maybe I’ve broken a little bone in there????

In future…pls remember that your purpose is to help people get fit…..not to try and assassinate people or even just make them look like complete idiots…unless they are in a gym and using you to run…then you may.


Limping Ruby


11 thoughts on “Dear Treadmill

  1. you stole my line glug!! i love treadmills, we have a very special relationship… if you’re very curious, go check out my post of 18 october…shame poor baby, you should maybe have that foot checked out, it does indeed sound a bit broken!!

  2. quite frankly you guys….if I had a choice that devil machine would be on its way to a dumping site or to Sweetass is she really wanted such an asshole of a machine. But it aint mine:-(Sweetass – My problem is that I am absolutely petrified of doctors!!!! so i think I’ll wait another day or two and if i’m still limping and whincing like yesterday and today I’ll just have to suck it up and go….OMG, i’m already freaking out!!! maybe I can get gorgeous to go with me…, then he’ll just think i’m a whimp…what to do what to do????

  3. Sounds to me like you tore some ligaments. Is it still very blue (purple)?BTW – Here’s the link to the post sweetass is referring to:Embarrassing moment

  4. you think I can tear a ligament by just bashing the top of my foot really hard?? oh my goodness, now you guys are really scaring me!!!!oh, and yes, it’s still very much blue and purple and swollen and it really hurts:-(thanx for the link:-)

  5. Hope you are getting your foot looked at! Blue is not a good colour, but green & purple could be worse :-)At least you got a smooch out of all of this from Prince Charming (yup, i’m a glass-is-half-full kinda girl)

  6. Vim – and here i was just thinking I was safe and everybody missed that part of the letter…..very observant of you;-)I’m considering having it looked at by someone….just trying to pluck up the courage

  7. Hey Ruby. Its Tuesday already. You better have had your foot checked out by a doc by now!I hope you opened a can of whupass on the treadmill’s owner for not folding it away like you asked!

  8. Wiggly – haven’t been to the doc yet, but considering an appointment by tomorrow…still haven’t plucked up enough courage.and don’t you worry……..Mr treadmill’s owners ear was bleeding from the tonguelashing I gave him…plus, he has to take me out to dinner for the damage caused.

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