Seriously dude…its been 2 freakin years! i think its time the consequences of you insanity stops haunting me…..but then again,I’ve been told that’s wishful thinking. Whether I want to or not I’m going to have to remember you for ever and ever, or at least until I die anyway.
I think I’ve come through the worst of the trauma associated with the accident. And I’ve healed up pretty well, Thank God! But every day I am reminded of that fateful night….the night you decided to drink to much and chase around the suburbs at a 160km/h…..who the hell gave you the right you bastard!
Predictably enough you weren’t injured…isn’t that just sooo typical. I on the other hand was rushed to hospital. I had to phone the parentals all the way in Natal at 12 o’clock at night, I had 3 emergency operations, I was in hospital for two weeks, bedridden for 2 months, my car was wrecked, I am now officially a woman of steel and I, who have never in her life had headaches, now get them on an almost daily basis.
I have to admit, I healed up just fine;-) I was blessed enough not to have any scars except for the tiny ones on my leg and hand where the operations were, I walk normally, I look normal, i do all the normal things, all in all I am pretty much normal. But the steel plate an screws in my leg will forever hurt when the weather changes and will set off every single metal detector I have to pass through. And it will also cause the American embassy to think I am a terrorist, by the way! The damage done to my neck was more severe than initially thought. Granted, I am grateful that I didn’t break my neck…but at times the headaches are unbearable and I have become a real little pill popper when it gets really bad.
I’m still upset at the cops for merely sitting in their car. Their only only question to me was..”did someone die?” WTF????????From the stretcher I yelled a loud and unmistakable “NO”. And that was that…they left. No breathalyzer for you, who was so drunk that none of us could understand a single bloody word you were saying.
The very thought of you causes tension in my body and I become all nauseated. But in some arb way I am grateful. I am glad that I am still alive(although you had nothing to do with that!) But these days I’m a way more alert driver, I am more grateful for all the little things I have and thanks to you I now drive a gorgeous little car…which is now 2 years old, but brand new when I got it after the 2 months of lying in bed. If the old one didn’t end its life so dramatically I would probably have driven it for years….old as it might have been…it was my first car, my baby…gosh, we had so many memories the two of us;-)
I have no idea what happened to you after the last time you phoned me while I was in hospital. As I was in a drug induced state I do not recall much of the conversations apart from me crying and screaming at you to leave me the hell alone…you’ve done enough to ruin my life……..or something like that anyway.
I hope that these days you are a more responsible driver. I hope that somewhere along the line you had made peace with yourself, as i do remember you being riled with self reproach and loathing after you got the news of my injuries. I sincerely hoped that you have learned from you mistake. I think the real reason for this letter is just to tell you that I am OK. Actually, I’m better than OK…I’m great. And I forgive you for everything that has happened to me…I really do.