So this week hasn’t all together been a good one, to be perfectly honest. A good friend of mine, who lives in CT, committed suicide last week Sunday…he shot himself. It’s the second friend this year I’ve lost in this way. I guess this time i should be grateful that i wasn’t nearby, that i wasn’t the one who found him and and that i didn’t have to stare death in the face like i had to at the beginning of the year…small miracles i guess. I’m not entirely sure i would have coped with that….once was more than enough.

I received the news on Sunday night while i was at a restaurant having fun with a couple of friends of mine. I managed to put up a brave face, hardly telling any of them at the time as i didn’t want to put a damper on their fun evening…in hindsight i think that was silly. They’re all good friends of mine who would gladly have supported me…but instead i sat there trying to be happy while i was breaking inside.

The funeral was Thursday, needless to say, it was a tough day all together. I’m kind of grateful that i was racing against time in order to reach a Friday lunchtime deadline, otherwise it would have been pure hell. It’s funny, at the time I thought i was fine. I even told my best friend that i was fine, and i wasn’t lying…but now that i look back on this week i realise that i wasn’t quite as fine as i thought,….i was sad and confused. Confused, because I’ve never ever felt really depressed. Because i don’t understand how it feels to get to a point where life just doesn’t seem worth living anymore. Confused because i was blessed with a sunshiny personality that bubbles over even when I’m going through tough times, because no mountain has ever seemed to high, because even in my darkest times my life is filled with hope and optimism.

I’ve come to the conclusion that depression and suicide will never make sense to me. My heart truly goes out to people who go through this deepest of darkness. The people who reach a place in there lives where they just don’t feel up to living anymore. My heart truly breaks for them..but i don’t understand it, and this makes me feel really helpless. All I can do is love them and support them and make sure that they know that they are appreciated and cared for. And i promise to do that to the best of my abilities.

So rest in peace my friend…you will be missed.

Love
Ruby
xxxx

I saw this little gem on both of your blogs(sproutsmom & Jessica) and thought it was a lovely idea:)
The whole idea is to have this list of 99 things you could have done and to put the ones you have done in bold….so here goes:)

1.) Started your own blog
2.) Slept under the stars
3.) Played in a band
4.) Visited Hawaii
5.) Watched a meteor shower
6.) Given more than you can afford to charity
7.) Been to DisneyWorld
8.) Climbed a mountain
9.) Held a praying mantis
10.) Sang a solo
11.) Bunjee jumped
12.) Visited Paris
13.) Watched a lightning storm
14.) Taught yourself an art from scratch
15.) Adopted a child(I adopted a child in africa to support financially…does that count???)
16.) Had food poisoning
17.) Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18.) Grown your own veggies
19.) Seen the Mona Lisa at the Louvre
20.) Slept on an overnight train
21.) Had a pillowfight
22.) Hitch hiked
23.) Taken a sick day when you’re not sick
24.) Made a snow fort
25.) Held a lamb
26.) Ran a marathon
27.) Went skinny dipping
28.) Rode in a gondola in Venice
29.) Witnessed total eclipse
30.) Seen a sunrise or sunset
31.) Hit a home run
32.) Been on a cruise
33.) Seen Niagara Falls in person
34.) Visited the birthplace/home of your ancestors
35.) Seen an Amish country
36.) Taught yourself a new language
37.) Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38.) Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39.) Gone rock climbing
40.) Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41.) Sung karaoke
42.) Seen Old Faithful erupt
43.) Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44.) Visited Africa
45.) Walked on a beach by moonlight
46.) Taken a ride in an ambulance
47.) Had your portrait painted
48.) Gone deep sea fishing
49.) Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower
50.) Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
51.) kissed in the rain
52.) played in the mud
53.) Gone to a drive-in theater
54.) Been in a movie
55.) visited the Great Wall of China
56.) Started a business(does my roaring hotdog and fudge business i had in school count?)
57.) Taken a martial arts class
58.) visited Russia
59.) worked at a soup kitchen
60.) sold Girl Scout cookies
61.) gone whale watching
62.) gotten flowers for no reason
63.) donated blood, platelets, or plasma
64.) Gone sky diving
65.) Visited Nazi concentration camp
66.) Bounced a check
67.) Flown in a helicopter
68.) Saved a childhood toy
69.) visited the Lincoln Memorial
70.) eaten caviar
71.) pieced a quilt
72.) stood in Times Square
73.) toured the Everglades
74.) been fired from a job
75.) seen the changing of the guards in London
76.) Broken a bone
77.) Been a passenger on a motorcycle
78.) seen the Grand Canyon in person
79.) Published a book
80.) Visited the Vatican
81.) bought a brand new car
82.) visited Jerusalem
83.) had your picture in the paper
84.) Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
85.) visited the White House
86.) Killed and prepared an animal for eating
87.) Had chickenpox
88.) Saved someone’s life
89.) Sat on a jury
90.) met someone famous
91.) joined a book club
92.) got a tattoo
93.) had a baby
94.) Seen the Alamo in person
95.) Swam in the Great Salt Lake
96.) Been involved in a law suit
97.) owned a cell phone
98.) Been stung by a bee
99.) Swam in the Black Sea

47 and 2 maybe’s out of 99…not too bad me thinks:) So much more in life that i want to accomplish, and most of them aren’t even on this list. I can’t wait to see what the future holds:)

Love
Ruby
XXXXX

I saw this little gem on your blog not so long ago and I thought I’d give it a bash too:) It’s called 102 random facts, and it’ll probably take me forever to do…but i might as well start somewhere:)

1. I have weirdly coloured eyes, consisting of 2 different shades of green and brown
2. I have more scars than most of the boy people i know
3. I’m surrounded by a ‘force field of weird’ …weird things happen to and around me
4. Last year my feet got burnt by acid due to the fact that new shoes i bought were laced with
acidic powder…i suffered…a lot….
5. The first time i flew was when i went to my brother’s wedding in the states
6. Dancing, music, singing and acting puts me in my happy place
7. I love salsa
8. Even though i hate pictures being taken of me, I love pictures and i have a small fortune
of them
9. My taste in music is widespread and weird, and i mostly like non-commercial music
10. My head is filled with general knowledge and random facts
11. I’m a really really really bad liar
12. As it turns out the meaning of my name fits my personality perfectly…my dad chose well
13. I have a nickname for both my boy best friend and my girl best friend and i rarely
call them by their real names
14. I use terms of endearment when addressing people, this often gets me into trouble
15. I don’t trust easily
16. Very few people have experienced the deep inner parts of my heart and personality
17. I’m good with teenagers….especially the difficult ones
18. Apart from black, which isn’t really a colour,my favourite colours are olive green, orange and
dark red wine red
19. My birthstone is a Ruby
20. I was named dux learner in both primary and high school…
21. I obtained both my degrees cum laude
22. I’m remarkably resilient
23. I’m very much a ‘touch’ person
24. I gesture a lot with my hands when I’m talking
25. I get frustrated when typing a story on the laptop cause i can’t use my hands to explain
to the person reading the e-mail or skype message exactly how serious it is
26. A very close friend gave me a diamond and 18ct white gold bracelet for my birthday. and no,
he didn’t want anything from me…he’s gay:)
27. I love camping
28. That being said, i also love luxury
29. I love love love love love love reading
30. I don’t fall in love easily
31. I’m very much a mind over matter person
32. I’m mostly extremely practical
33. I’m afraid of heights
34. I’m petrified of spiders…but i think most of you know this already:)
35. I love shoes…. 🙂
36. I love shopping for baby clothes and shoes..just ask my friends who have babies
37. I’m easily bored by people
38. I broke my arm when i was 5 because my mom drove over it…it was an accident, i fell
in front of the car…my mom was hysterical, i thought the little blood patterns on my arm
made by the wheel was awesome
39. My right big toe is slightly smaller than the left because they had to cut a piece of it out
when i was in high school
40. I love picnics
41. I love Dr. Pepper soft drink
42. I totally adore M&M’s
43. I have a thing about stationary
44. I believe that post-its is the greatest invention ever
45. I’m slightly allergic to yeast, so i eat very little bread
46. I touch type
47. I’m the eternal optimist
48. Generally I’m way too hard on myself and i find it hard to give myself a break
49. I write short stories and poetry
50. I was a USN and SAB promo girl when i was a student
51. I organised two proper rock concerts while I was at uni and considered become an events
manager or band manager or concert manager because of it
52. I was once told that I’d probably be the 1st female president of our country*snort*
53. I talk….a LOT!
54. I have naturally long and very black eyelashes
55. I’m super calm in times of crises and only freak out after every thing’s been taken care of
56. Lemon sorbet is my favourite
57. I generally get a ‘feeling’ about people when i meet them…99% of the time that feeling
is spot on
58. I have a severe and incurable case of foot in mouth disease…I’ve learned to live with this
59. In May my parents will celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary…they are still very much
in love and totally adorable
60. I believe that if i can be half as happy in my marriage as my parents, my husband and I’ll
be superly happily married
61. I see the good in people around me and find it hard to believe that not all people are good
62. People take advantage of me because of 61
63. I once broke into a barn, with a boy, on a farm where we were having a party and almost
crashed the tractor….we didn’t get caught
64. I’m won over by small gestures and gifts rather than extravagance
65. I love my iPhone 🙂
66. I haven’t met my prince charming yet
67. I’m extremely flexible
68. I love earrings 😉
69. I have a t-shirt that says ’68’ on the front and ‘you owe me 1’ on the back
70. I’m currently doing my masters degree in forensic accounting…..because i love solving
puzzles and i can’t wait to outsmart all those really clever white-collar criminals
71. I’m blessed enough to have an amazing relationship with both my parents
72. I’m slightly ADD
73. When i was younger i was extremely OCD…these days I’m much better and i only have
slight OCD tendencies
74. A guy once hit me in the face with his fist….it was an accident…2 boys were fighting and i
stupidly tried to stop them…i was 16
75. My dad nearly killed both of the above mentioned boys
76. I’ve broken my nose more than once
77. I’m a complete insomniac
78. I was born on the 7th of the 7th 🙂
79. I was offered a contract as a photographic model when i went to pick up my portfolio pics
i had taken for fun
80. I’ve been withing 5m of a fully grown crocodile out in the wild…nothing between us
81. I have very tiny hands with longish fingers
82. I love doing pilates
83. I have this thing for fire
84. I’m scared to death of the dentist
85. I’m not really all that fond of doctors either
86. I love swords and knives, and i hope to one day own a proper samurai sword
87. I really love teaching people things if they are willing to learn
88. My uni lecturers told me i didn’t have the lack of personality for the course I’m studying
89. I love wine
90. My favourite shooter is Patrone!
91. I make memory books
92. I have a little memory box in my head for each of the people who are very important to me.
In there i store all my favourite memories of them
93. I can’t stand liars and lies
94. I’m not a jealous person
95. A friend of mine hanged himself earlier this year, sort of at my house…for a while there i
didn’t think i was gonna cope
96. I suspect i may be addicted to Philadelphia cheese
97. I suffer from extreme tension headaches on a daily basis due to the damage caused to my
spine when i had my car accident
98. I HATE peas…..like honestly i hate them!
99. I have weak lungs and have a tendency to develop bronchitis within minutes
100. I’m considering going skydiving
101. After my friend died in a bungee jumping accident last year I’ll never even consider it
102. I can’t believe i got to 102 without frying my brain:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

As always, my current addictions posts are addressed to you, as you were the inspiration behind them. So here follows a little bit of who i am and what makes me tick:) At the moment there are a couple of things in life that i feel i can’t live without. They are as follows:

1. My incredibly awesome and super cute new handbag…..I love it!

2. Annique Rescue essence
This is one of the most amazing products ever invented!!!! It can be used for headaches,
insect bites, cuts, sinus, hay fever, rashes, skin irritations and muscle pain

3. My new phone….still:)
I wasn’t kidding when i said if my iPhone was a boy person I’d marry it 🙂

4. Salsa
I don’t think i need to explain this one 🙂 It’s my happy thing…:)

Hope this gives you a little insight into my life:)

Love

Ruby
xxxxxxxx

I’m so sorry that I’m only coming back to you now…it’s been a crazy couple of days. But I’m finally getting around to posting the recipe of my Monday night feast:) I made pasta with Philadelphia cheese sauce, peppadews, bacon and red onion….it was absolutely divine, so I’m going to share the recipe of the sauce with you. The pasta part is easy, just boil the pasta until el dente🙂

Philadelphia cheese sauce with peppadew, bacon and red onion:
Ingredients:
– 3/4 block of Philadelphia cheese
– +/- 40ml Milk
– 2TBS Butter
– hand full of chopped peppadews
– bacon(as much as you want)
– Red onions(chopped, as much as you want)

Method:
– Cut the cheese into smaller pieces and put it on a low heat in a saucepan adding the milk
and butter.
– Keep stirring until the butter and the cheese have melted, but keep the heat very low,
otherwise it will burn. Add more milk depending on the thickness of sauce you require
– When the sauce is ready, add the chopped peppadew, the cooked bacon and onion, stir
– Add pasta

And Voila! Pasta with Philadelphia cheese sauce, peppadew, bacon and red onion. it’s the easiest most divine meal ever. You can also, after having mixed everything add a tad of Parmesan and Tabasco….so yummy!

Love

Ruby
xxxxxx