Category: Life

Dear Kiki

Oh my word Cuz! I’m so incredibly worried about you:(  I’ve been waiting for this news for a couple of days, and now I’m kind of wishing i didn’t get the news:(

(Let me just interrupt my little letter here and explain something to you…Kiki and Dee are my two cousins who live in the States.  My uncle married an American, and while they lived in Swaziland for a long time they moved to the US when Dee and I were about 16.  Kiki is 2 years younger than Dee.  We get along like a house on fire and I love them dearly. Ok, now back to the letter)

Earlier this week we were informed that you were in hospital.  The details were sketchy at best, all I knew was that there was bleeding in your brain and that things weren’t looking good.  You were admitted to a hospital in Italy, as that’s where you are currently stationed, and your parents and Dee were making the 6 leg journey of 2 days to get to you.  We’ve all been waiting with bated breath to find out exactly what’s going on.  And we’ve all been praying.

So tonight I finally heard from Dee after they were able to visit you in hospital and speak to the doctors. Turns out you were born with a knot of veins and arteries very deep inside your brain.  After many years this has finally started hemorrhaging.  The tricky thing is that it’s so deep in your brain that they can’t operate without causing damage to a lot of other parts of your brain.  The good news is that they’re starting you on a non-invasive procedure to see if that might help…but they have no answers…they just don’t know if it will work.  If it doesn’t, surgery is your only option and who knows what damage that will cause.

I feel sorry for your folks and Dee.  They’re in a strange country where they don’t understand the language, so while you are receiving the best care possible the hospital is not being very helpful towards them, because they’re not italian.  The fact that when you are awake, your incredible sense of humor is still alive and kicking is serving as a bit of stress relief for everyone.

So my dearest Kiki….my heart is in a very sad place tonight.  Please always remember that you are in our prayers.  Wish we could be there with you, but obviously logistics won’t allow for that.  Remember that we love you very much!

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Kiki being silly:)

Happier times with Kiki and her family:)

Dear Mr. Bossman and company

I can’t believe it’s time to say goodbye.  While I always knew the time would come at some point…it’s arrival has caught me off guard.

It’s been 6 years (can you believe it’s been that long??) of ups and downs.  Filled with growing pains and loads of hard work for all of us.  But looking back on it all I can truly say that it’s been mostly ups…there have been very few downs in the last 6 years, and the ones we did have, have been written off to experience and personal growth.

Friday was my official last day at the office, but we were filled with smiles and laughing throughout my farewell because we all knew we’d see each other again on monday morning when I would be popping in to drop off my laptop and office keys….my final goodbye.  I managed to stick to my motto of ‘no tears’ on friday until numerous clients started responding to my final e-mail saying farewell.  My last hour at the office was filled with phone calls and e-mails…many of which drove me to teary eyes.  Not only will I be missed by my colleagues, but also by clients.  I’ve spent 6 years building up relationships with these people, and just like that it’s over.

Monday morning was the worst.  You became all emotional and even gave me a hug when I finally left the office, without a key, a remote or a computer.  My final connection to the office has been severed.  You informed me that your morning had been filled with clients phoning, asking you to send their regards and well wishes when you did speak to me.  It was hard saying goodbye to the staff…people who I have come to call my friends. It was a moment of absolute sadness….followed by a moment of excitement.  The future is shining bright and I can’t wait to go and do my thing.

Thank you so much for the support you have given me in the last 6 years.  Thank you for your support and well wishes in my choice to make a life change.  Thank you for believing in me and giving me the chance to do the best that I could in the last 6 years.

With fond memories

Ruby
xxxxxxxxxx

A little something about awesome things and big changes

So as you can see….this is not a letter.  I didn’t want to loop it into the ‘Dear Readers’ category and to be honest this is just too big and too exciting to limit it to a letter…so it’s a normal post…about extraordinary things:)

Right, as you all know I’ve been stressing about my whole job situation.  The truth of the matter is….my contract at my current place of work runs out at the end of this month.  And, as much as they wanted to renew it, and as much as I love working here and as much as I love my job….I was getting bored.  I needed a new challenge AND I wanted to move into the direction in which I did my masters degree in…Forensic accounting.  So without securing another job first I informed my boss, no uncertain terms, that I wouldn’t be renewing my contract.  They’re sad to see me go and I think they’re going to suffer a bit in the first few months..but my boss is happy for me.  We have an amazing relationship and he’s cheering me on from the sidelines at the moment…willing me to succeeded.  For this I’m eternally grateful.

Needless to say, the last few weeks have been stressful.  After 28 February I won’t have a job and thanks to all my medical emergencies at the end of last year my ‘buffer money’, although still present, wasn’t quite as much as I would have liked it to be in case I didn’t have a job come 1 March.  I was getting annoyed with myself for stressing so much.  God has always provided for me…and this would be no different..but stressing is a human trait..it’s something we all do.

I’ve been applying, calling, sending out CV’s, looking up old contacts and doing everything in my power to get a job.  I had a couple of interviews lined up…but I guess I will phone them and cancel.  That’s right…I got a job:) *whoooot* .  Well, technically I didn’t get a job…I’ll be a consultant…so for all practical reasons I’m self-employed and charging myself out at an hourly rate.  I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime..and I’m grabbing hold of it with both hands.  I’ll be working on the most interesting and often ‘top secret’ forensic jobs with one of the biggest names in the forensic accounting profession in the next couple of months.  He’ll be showing me the ropes…what more can I possibly ask for?

I’ve been weighing up all the pros and cons for days now…and no matter how I look at it the pros of doing this far outweighs the cons.  The biggest con of course being not having a guaranteed income at the end of every month.  That’s what saving and budgeting and planning is for…who better than a financial advisor to sort that out????

The opportunity came completely out of the blue, from a direction that I wasn’t really pursuing. And i suspect that’s what makes it even more exciting for me.  This opportunity just kind of showed up.

I’m overwhelmed and incredibly excited and scared to death.  Astronomical changes are about to happen in my life…and as scared as I am…I can’t wait:)  I’ll be travelling a LOT in the next couple of months and I’m afraid Jozi won’t be seeing much of me.  But it’s only for a few months at a time and the work experience and the reputation I’ll be gaining from this will make it totally worth it.

The one thing that is catching me a little is the fact that I’ll be far removed from my social circle.  I’ll see them every now and again….but not nearly as often as I do now.  I’m going to miss my best friend.  This person forms such an integral part of me…the distance and not being able to see each other often is going to be really tough. Although from experience I know that the bond we share is not governed by human borders and perceptions of distance.

I’m scared because I’m moving from what I know (spending 6 years at the same company and knowing all my clients and really knowing my shizz with regards to the work) and leaving my comfort zone far behind me.  But excited because I’m entering a new phase of my life.  Starting a new challenge.  Excited because I’ll be my own boss.  I’ll be able to do my planned 3 week trip to Europe because I won’t have to try to fight for leave.  Excited because this is what I wanted and I’m given the opportunity to do it…not just by anyone…by one of the big dudes in the industry.  I feel so incredibly blessed right now:)

The next 2 weeks is going to be absolutely crazy! Buying a laptop, securing work visas, working on my packing techniques (I’ll be flying out every 2 weeks for 2 weeks to begin with), setting up different accounts for my ‘consulting business’, etc etc etc…the list is endless.  Can anyone say Ruby running around like a headless chicken???  I’m counting on the fact that the ‘go go super Ruby’ function will work properly:P

In other news…my couches finally came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does massive happy dance* I spent the weekend doing curtain shopping and rearranging the lounge until I found something I was happy with (I had to giggle at the fact that the arrangement I liked the most was the one suggested by the best friend).  Finally my lounge looks like it belongs to a grown up…who would have thought THAT could ever happen:P

Oh….and happy valentines day everyone! *hugs and kisses all around*

Dear Paul…I still remember

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been over a year already.  I haven’t thought of that day in quite a while.  Sure, I often think of you…sometimes i forget you are no longer with us and think I should call you, and then I realise I can’t.  That realisation always comes hard and fast and without any mercy.  But it’s been a very long time since I’ve allowed myself to think of that day.

I had a really crappy day today.  You know, one of those days where you really just want to curl into a little ball and cry and hit something until you feel better? Then while I was sitting in front of the television, not really paying attention to what was on, they showed a shot of a guy getting hung. That sight made all those memories flood back.  It was like being stabbed in the guts all over again.

I haven’t allowed myself to think of that sight in a very long time.  Haven’t allowed myself to wander too far and investigate too much how I dealt with the trauma of having to cut down the body of my friend that committed suicide.  But seeing that today…it reminded me.  To be honest it made me feel like I was going to throw up….I remembered the smell, the sight, your mother’s crying in the background *shudders*.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve dealt with this a long time ago…I’ve just chosen NOT to dwell on it.  To focus on the happy memories I have of you.  The sight of you hanging there…that’s definitely NOT how I want to remember you.  And until now I’ve been succesful in ignoring it.  Is it the wisest course of action…I don’t know.  All i know is that this makes me cope with it.

I miss you my friend, and I wish you were still around.

Love

Ruby
xxxxx

Dear Readers

Welcome to my very own domain! *Does little happy dance*  Yes, I finally took the big plunge and registered the Rubyletters domain and at the same time I decided to make a few changes to my blog in general.  At first the plan was just to use my own domain but to keep the blog as close to the original design as possible.  Since then I’ve decided to just dive in head first and re-invent it.

So, the new blog isn’t supposed to be like the old one…it’s a re-invention with a touch of good old rubyletters essence to make it feel familiar.  I hope that you like it…wait, scrap that…i hope you LOVE it as much as I do and that you’ll continue to read all my little letters to the world as you always have.

I’m sure as time goes by that I’ll continue to make little tweaks and changes here and there, so feel free to give me some feedback and to share your thoughts.  All in all what I’d like to say is…welcome to http://www.rubyletters.com

Love
Ruby
xxxxxxx

P.S.  I’d appreciate it if you could update my link on your blogroll to this URL rather than the old blogger one:)

P.P.S.  If you used to be on my old blogroll or if you weren’t but you would like to be on the new one, please drop me a mail with the link so I can add you:)