Category: Big City

Dear JMPD

Not usually being one to complain about the police, I hope you realize just how shocking, disturbing and sobering this experience must have been for me to be writing this letter.

On Wednesday morning, on my way to work, a JMPD vehicle almost rear ended me because the JMPD officer behind the wheel was on his cellphone and therefor not paying attention to what was going around him. Correct me if I’m wrong, but talking on your cellphone while driving is illegal in this country, isn’t it?

Anyway, this wasn’t nearly as disturbing as what happened next. Please note that the vehicle did not have it’s sirens or flashing lights on, and was obviously not on it’s way to some kind of an emergency. The vehicle proceeded to push me of the road, causing me to nearly roll my car, and then drove past throwing me a zap sign…..what the hell????? I was unable to take the vehicle’s registration number as I was trying my best not to write off my own precious little car in the process.

Needless to say I was disturbed, upset and just a tad hysterical. I ended up crying all the way to work, ruining my make-up and developing an absolutely awful headache. After getting some tea from my precious Hilda(tea lady), to calm the nerves, I tried phoning the police department to lodge a complaint….no joy!

First of all I was informed that this was impossible, no police officer would push another car off the road and proceed to be rude about it. But when they finally agreed to take the complaint, I was informed that without a registration number I can’t even lodge a complaint, or at least not one that would be taken seriously at all. I’m sorry, I couldn’t take down the registration number because I was trying NOT TO GET KILLED!!!!!!

This is the second time in as many months that I’ve had a major problem with JMPD. One evening last month, a DRUNK police officer, actually tried to pull me over, after I instinctively hooted at him when he cut me off. He was swerving across the highway, drunk as a skunk, causing more than one person to have to veer off the highway in an attempt not to be hit.

Due to this I’ve lost all respect for our so-called law enforcers. I’ve always tried to remain positive and supportive wherever I can…but this is absolutely ridiculous.

Regards

A very upset Ruby

Dear Hijacker

The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind time that I’ve hardly had time to eat, sleep or even think. Since you ever so carefully bulldozed you way into my perfectly organized life, everything has changed, and tonight for the first time I have the time to just sit down and analyze…something i usually do constantly. If the letter is a bit jumbled and confusing, please bear with me. I’m trying to focus, trying to figure out what the hell is going on…trying to make sense of the situation.

We’ve been friends for months, and never, not even once have i considered the possibility that your little mind was steering our friendship in a completely different direction. Then, two weeks ago, you practically invited yourself to dinner. We had a fabulous time and to my absolute astonishment it was 3 o’clock by the time you finally decided to leave. I never even noticed what time it was….i had trouble sleeping and was amazed at how comfortable it was to have you around.

Since then I’ve seen you every single day. I’ve sms’d you a thousand times, answered your ring tone even more than that and found myself thinking of you more than i felt comfortable to admit.

Our first kiss was gentle and passionate, but a complete surprise. You had manged to catch me completely off guard….not something easily achieved. And even more surprising was the fact that this unexpectedness didn’t bother me at all.

I have no idea where all of this is going. I’m freaked out by the fact that I’m allowing you to bulldoze your way into my life. I’m freaked out by my reaction to all of this. But most of all i think I’m freaked out by the fact that I’ve just realised that I’m falling for you. Hard! I haven’t‘ fallen in love with you, but as i sit here reading this letter i realise that I’m probably heading in that direction….it scares the shit out of me.

Our “relationship”, or whatever you would like to call it, has a different twist to it, and even though i won’t talk about it, I can’t deny that this specific part of your history scares me. I’m grateful for the fact that your realise i have a slight issue with this, and that you’ve been trying your best to make it easy for me.

Last night was the first day in two weeks that i didn’t see you. I missed you…..and that scared me. I felt unsure of myself, which is not something which happens all too often. And I’m upset with myself for this reaction. You wouldn’t be phoning me 200 times a day if you didn’t wanna spend time with me…..i decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and spent some time with the girlies. It was good, but not the same as spending time with you. I’d rather see you ever day……shocking, i know!

I don’t know if it will work out, or whether all of this is just for fun. I’m confused as hell, but most of all I’m having fun. I enjoy your company, you quick wit, your hand on the small of my back when no one else is watching. The stolen kisses and the light touch of you hand on my arm.

I’ve made a decision while writing this letter. I’m usually the over thinker, the too rational person, the over analyzer, and the one who doesn’t risk her heart, because she’s been hurt too many times. The one who’d rather not love at all than have her heart broken. It stops right here. No more!

You make me happy. You make me feel excited about the most mundane little tasks. The thought of you makes me feel like I’ve slept for hours, even though I’ve probably only slept about 12 hours in 2 weeks. You’re the one that makes me feel special for wanting to kill the client whose practically harassing me. The one who makes me feel all silly, and blushy and like I’m a teenager again. I’ve decided to risk it.

I don’t know what the future holds for us, and whether we’ll even make it to a proper relationship…but I’ve also decided that it doesn’t matter. That i have to start living and loving the here and now….even if it means that i might get hurt in the process.

I realise that this letter is all “deurmekaar“, mushy and stupid. But it has helped me focus, it’s helped me make a decision……….it’s helped me realise that I really like you you little clown! Be gentle with this little heart of mine. It’s not given easily and not without a lot of thought and consideration for what might happen. But I’m willing to take the risk and i’m hoping you are too.

Hugs and kisses

Ruby

Dear 2nd in command and big bossman

I suppose this isn’t really a proper letter, it’s more like a memo which is addressed like a letter…or something to that effect.

I do realise that you guys will only be getting this on Monday but i need HELP!!!!!!! You guys can’t just decide to be sick or pack up and leave for the week and leave me in absolute control of everyone!!!!! I’ve only been doing this job for 2 and a half days! Where am I supposed to find everything and organize clients, and employees, disgruntled bookkeepers and the locksmith coming to fix our lock after the burglary…you didn’t even bother to tell me he’s coming…so if he’s charging you a fortune unnecessarily Mr Bossman….its your own fault for not telling me he’s coming and what exactly he’s supposed to do.

*breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breath in, breathe out* OK, I’m fine now. I suppose I’m gonna have to start coping with this now……i am after all now a boss *giggle* and third in command of the company. I can do this…I know I can…you know I can. I suppose you wouldn’t have given me the job and left me alone on my third day if you didn’t think I could do it.

OK, never mind, crisis averted.

Regards

Ruby

Dear Co-worker Beatch!

Today I have had enough! In the past 3 years you have made every single day a misery….except of course when I’m not at the office. I’ve been patient, I’ve been kind, I’ve been hard working, understanding, sweet, nice, friendly and just about everything under the sun which can be used to described pretty much treating you with respect and friendliness even though you don’t deserve this. But now it is just becoming way beyond ridiculous!

You are one gorgeous lady….we all know that. You look 22 despite the fact that you have just turned 33. You are smart and well educated but all of this is spoilt by you behaviour. You are a bitch. I’m so sorry, but there is just no other way to put it.

You treat me with disdain, because for the first time ever you actually have competition in the office in all departments. Looks, brains, personality…..and to make it even worse I’m better liked because nobody considers me to be a bitch. I’m nice, friendly, sometimes difficult, but first to apologize if I was wrong…unlike certain people I know who considers all other people to be stupid, ugly, always wrong, and just way below them on the social ladder. Well wake up missy!!!!

I don’t mean to be vain or anything, but you are driving me insane. You are not as absolutely cool as you think you are!You are driving a mini cooper..not because you bought it but because your rich boyfriend paid for it…you only wear designer clothes…because your rich boyfriend buys it…..you go overseas at least twice a year…only because your rich boyfriend takes you.

You are 33 years old, cant do anything for yourself, have no social skills and well frankly……without you little rich ass boyfriend you don’t really have anything. You despise the fact that I get along well with everyone else at the office, because the boss loves me and is forever singing my praises, the fact that I don’t rant and rave back at you when you shout at me like a real fish wife, that i was given the corner office even though you’ve been at the company longer….the fact that people like me for me and I don’t need money to impress them. The fact that I was the one that received the Management position for next year while your articles expired without any future at our company.

Now that I’m done ranting and raving I actually feel quite sorry for you. It is so sad to see someone with your talents waste them. I honestly do think that you are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen(no I’m not Lesbian), you are extremely intelligent and if your boyfriend wants to spoil you that much…well done on finding one like that. I just don’t see why you have to be such a bitch to everyone around you? hell, you even try and command the boss around….what’s up with that? I’m sick of you telling everyone horrible gossip stories which are so far from the truth that everyone just laughs at you anyway. I’m tired of you trying to make me feel like I am inferior. I’m tired of being friendly and respectful when all of my niceness just gets thrown back in my face.

Everyone is writing your farewell card since your article contract expires at the end of the year along with mine. They are all lying. “We’re gonna miss you”, “come and visit”, yeah, whatever! everybody dislikes you…surely you know that by now. I’ve decided not to write anything. I’d rather let you think I’m a bitch by not leaving you a nice little message in the card than put a lie in ink forever.

I’ve just read the letter and realised that it might sound vain. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be, and actually, its not. Its just that I’m so sick of you trying to make me feel like I’m an excuse for a human being. I’m not! I’m good at what I do, and I’m not nice to people cause I’m scared they might dislike me if I’m not. I’m nice to people because that’s who I really am…..if i did act like a bitch every now and again I wouldn’t remain true to the person I’ve become. Live with it.

I’m not writing anything in you card, but in truth I do wish you the best for the future. I hope you get a job and a boss that suits you. And I certainly hope that you and mister Rich BF will get married sometime soon, it’s about time. But please….for heavens sake…don’t come back and visit and never, never live with the illusion that you are sorely missed on this side

Regards

Ruby

Dear CBD building society

The content of this letter is extremely important and might possibly save hundreds if not thousands of lives, more specifically the life of a certain miss Ruby, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Last year I was involved in a most unfortunate incident while temporarily working in one of your members. A certain building situated in Martin Street. For the buildings protection I will refrain from publishing its name and occupation, but i am quite sure that you will be aware of the individual i am referring to.

During November 2006 I was, as previously mentioned, working in the CBD, when all of a sudden there was a loud rumbling noise and the whole building collapsed. On top of us! I suppose it is possible that the trauma of the event has caused the scope of it to grow in my mind, but I can recall that the whole roof on the one side of the building did collapse…..the side of the building i was sitting in.

A number of us sustained injuries, some less serious than others, the worst of course being that the Fibre Glass Dust was embedded in our skin and caused us to itch for days on end….regardless of the number of showers taken.

We had to be rescued from the rubble by “firemen”. It was a traumatic and seriously scary incident. And i still have nightmares…..OK, not quite, but you get the picture right?

This letter is a plea and to all your members to please refrain from collapsing in any way while little Miss Ruby finds herself once again inside the same member who collapsed previously. Your assistance in this regard will be greatly appreciated.

Regards

Ruby