I am generally a very upbeat person. I’m not prone to feeling sad or overly emotional and something I definitely only experience on very rare occasions is loneliness. I mean sure, I can bitch and moan along with the best of them when I’m having a bad day. But I’m rarely reduced to tears, and having a complete and utter pity party is a concept that is mostly foreign to me.
So you can imagine my absolute horror when my day pretty much went something like this. Work…..burst into tears for no apparent reason….totally annoyed with emotional reaction to seemingly nothing…..work…nobody loves me….totally annoyed with emotional reaction to nothing…..work….bursts into tears….totally annoyed with emotional reaction to nothing….feels completely alone in the world…more tears. It’s DUMB!
I’m not prone to being emotional due to hormones (before anyone asks) and well…i’m just not very prone to negative emotions and sadness in general. Which means that my reaction not only surprises me, but also annoys me. I don’t do weepy well…it’s just not my thing.
I finally gave up on work for a bit and had a cup of tea. I had to get to the bottom of this. I’m generally under a lot of pressure workwise, but this week has not been the greatest ever and brought on meetings with news of even less sleep and even less of a social life for at least the next month. I’ve been given completely impossible deadlines…and while i generally have an attitude of “BRING IT ON”, this time round I’m doing my absolute best but I suspect that I might not make it. Being down in the dumps was counter productive and I was counting on my cup of tea to help me get to the bottom of this. And then, as I was sitting there getting annoyed with my emotions’ inability to comprehend the pressure I’m under, it dawned on me. My emotional wobble is most probably completely and utterly stress related.
My solution to this problem? I’ve given my workload the instruction to kiss my ass, at least until Sunday. Tonight i plan on watching series and drinking wine, tomorrow I’ll be having coffee and cupcakes for breakfast with a good friend in town while she takes professional pics (she’s a photographer) and i tinker about with instagram:P, followed by a hopefully fun and inspiring late lunch with some fabulous girls. I’ve also decided to stop hmmmming and aaahing and just go ahead and book my holiday in August…I also spent a delightful hour researching my options on how to make it 2 weeks instead of just one and all the lovely places I can go see. And just like that the tears are gone, I feel loved and cared for again. I told you…it’s DUMB.
Work isn’t everything. Having a life is important. But at the same time….I refuse to admit defeat. I WILL make this deadline. It will probably mean little to no sleep for the next 3 weeks, very little down time and well…pulling a bit of an MIA in all aspects of my life. But I’m starting it off right. Taking the time to rally my forces by spoiling myself and then pulling yet another miracle out of the hat. Because you know…I’m a superhero:P (just kidding!) I’m probably more like a magician anyway:P