Dear New Beginnings

So 2014 wasn’t a great year…I think we’ve all established this. It jumped between unemployment, employment, emotional turmoil, overseas trips, near death health issues and utter chaos more than I ever want to be reminded. But here we are in 2015 with a bunch of new opportunities knocking on my door and it is with great excitement that I embark on a whole new, and totally different kind of journey.

You see, on Monday I joined the ranks of a rather well known big corporate as a permanent staff member. I am very excited about the opportunities and experience that this well thought out, overly debated and sleepless night inducing decision will bring. Truthfully, it wasn’t an easy one…but it’s the best decision for me right now. So here we are…standing on the brink of something new and looking all bright eyed and bushy tailed and scared half to death.

Can I do this? Can I really really do this and make a huge success of it? OF COURSE I BLOODY CAN! Or rather that’s what I proudly exclaim to the world while my insides shake and my heart skips a beat (or two or three). So far so good….I haven’t been required to do anything except look pretty and professional, collect a laptop and sit around…this will hopefully change soon as “ledigheid is die duiwel se oorkussing” (as my gran would say). I’m not a fan of not being busy….as most of you know I’m that overly busy person who thrives under pressure and laughs in the face of unrealistic deadlines.

So here’s to new beginnings and exciting changes and a splendid 2015. If nothing else it will most certainly be better than 2014, that much I’m sure of.

Love,
Ruby

#Gladiator

No, this is not a post about Scandal or Olivia Pope or Instagram. But this little phrase did teach me something. The other night I was going through my Instagram feed and saw this gem posted by @Phumezamzai, lovely girl that she is. And it hit home….I am a gladiator…more so in the last 5 weeks than before.

Now those of you who follow me on twitter would have been made aware of a recent hospital visit, an operation and a pretty long recovery process. I was mostly quiet during the bulk of the hospital visit and even since then the details provided have been pretty sketchy. It’s taken me a while to process it all, to get better and to be OK with putting pen to paper. Beating the odds (for the second time in your life) does that.

It all started with an intense pain early saturday evening. There we were peacefully watching a movie when all of a sudden I experienced a pain I was unable to pinpoint or describe. The closest I got was “it feels like each of my organs are being individually squeezed by a vice grip“. After much deliberation I managed to convince the guy person that the pain seemed to be easing (which it was) and I headed home, only to be flooded by wave upon wave of pain as it got later. After vomiting for 4 hours I finally dragged myself to my car and drove to Netcare Sunninghill. I’m not going to into a hell of a lot of detail about the casualty visit at 1am in the morning but what I will say is that I’m far from impressed. I waited forever to be helped while I was quite clearly in agony, I was given a single disprin for the pain before the doctor indicated that I was being a wuss and there was nothing seriously wrong with me. Blood was taken but I doubt the doctor even glanced at the prelim results that came in before they sent me home telling me that the pain was muscular in nature. I was sent home with a script for Buscopan and a note for an ultrasound “just in case you still experience some pain on monday“. Stupidest thing a doctor has EVER done. I should have been admitted right there and then.

I spent most of sunday curled up in a little ball in absolute agony, unable to walk or eat and throwing up like there was no tomorrow…muscular my ass! Monday morning I drove myself back to Sunninghill for the ultrasound. Crying all the way as even the slightest movement caused the worse pain EVER. So here’s the thing…because of my car accident and the damage that caused and the constant pain I deal with, my pain threshold is pretty high. For me to be in this much pain and crying…well it says a lot. The lady who did the ultrasound nearly had a heart attack when she finally got the scan done and I was immediately admitted and put on a morphine and anti-biotic drip. And EVERYONE was asking how the hell I got sent home by casualty.

The short version of this is after spending Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday in hospital with an acutely inflamed gallbladder, liver, colon and pretty much everything else it was finally safer to do an op to remove my gallbladder. The specialist surgeon (most amazing man alive) had hoped that they would be able to reduce the infection and be able to perform a standard keyhole surgery. This was however not the case…as we know by now I do nothing in half measures. I only came out of theatre more than 3 hours later with a tanked blood pressure (which gifted me with a stay in high care) and huge cuts…a 45 min op turned into a 3 hour butchery. That week in hospital was the worst ever. Before the operation the pain of the infection was so intense that i was on 8 different types of pain meds all the time (which didn’t work). I was eventually given pethadine in conjunction with these in order to at least give me some relief. I was swollen, yellow and very very sick. After the op I had to deal with the fact that I was not only trying to recover from a major infection but also seriously invasive surgery, shredded core muscles and pneumonia as I wasn’t breathing properly due to the pain.

As it turns out I didn’t just have an infected gallbladder, or a gall stone or something…no no….I had gangrene. A horrible, gangrenous, angry gallbladder which had started infecting everything around it. I got completely stuck on that the first time the specialist explained that to me…so much so that i missed the next 5 minutes of what he said. GANGRENE!!?? I had a serious WTH moment…a reality check…and once I got home I had a bit of a cry. The truth is…in my Specialist’s words during my second follow-up visit “you were slowly dying“….scary scary stuff. Nobody is exactly sure how this happened and how I haven’t been in agony for ages as I’ve obviously been sick for years. My guess is that it’s like a frog in a pot. If you slowly turn up the heat he doesn’t realise he’s cooking. I’ve just gotten so used to pain that I never even realised just in how much pain I was until it got really really bad. It’s no secret that i’ve had food related issues for years…this is probably all related to the same issue.

But I’m getting off track. As I lay there in hospital, both before and after the operation, I wanted to die. I didn’t WANT to deal with the pain..it was too much. I couldn’t even cry because it was too sore. Now that I’m well on my way to recovery that sounds ludicrous. And I can’t even begin to imagine being in enough pain to put me in such a mindset…but I was. But here’s the thing….I don’t get to run. I’m a gladiator. Gladiators don’t run. They fight. They slay dragons. They wipe off the blood. They stitch up their wounds, and they live to fight another day. I don’t get to run.

And as I sit here typing this I’m filled with more gratitude than I can begin to explain. Grateful for my family (they rushed to come and be with me while I was in hospital and my mother dearest stayed on to look after me after I got out of hospital as initially I couldn’t do ANYTHING and they were just more amazing than i can put into words), my guy person (I can’t even describe how utterly amazing he’s been), my friends (who went above and beyond to visit in hospital, take care of me afterwards and check in on me all the time) for all the love and support and for all the prayers. But mostly I’m grateful because even in my darkest moments, and even in the emotionally draining pit I was falling down God was there with me. He knew my pain and He also knew that I was stronger than that. It wasn’t my time to go yet and I was never alone…not once.

So here I am…I’ve started driving and can, for the most part do most things. I’m not allowed back in gym for a while and I’m not allowed to lift heavy things and I have ZERO core strength at present. But that will come…so will speed (everything currently happens in slow motion as fast movements are painful). I’m celebrating the small victories such as being able to reach my toes without wanting to die, being able to get upright after lying in bed without help, SLEEPING ON MY SIDE! Every day little things that we so often take for granted. I’m sporting 3 brand new scars, 2 of which are small and subtle but a third you’d have to be blind to miss..since i’m already riddled with them I’ve decided to embrace my brand new battle scar and to be honest I think in time it’ll fade quite nicely. It’s over 15cm, but the surgeon went to a lot of trouble to use cosmetic stitches rather than settling for the norm and he’s done a damn good job:)

The fact is…life is good. It has to be, because I choose it that way.

Dear Europe (Day 7)

Yes, it’s been a year since my trip…I realise this….but I’ve already spoken about my lack of blogging in the last year here. After much consideration I decided to complete my posts on my trip regardless of the time-lapse. They are lovely to look back on and with so many awesome memories they are definitely worth putting up. So I’ll steadily be posting the last few days of my holiday last year.

So….Day 7…the day I meet up with my tour group from TopDeck Tours. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Here I was all on my own in a strange country where very few people understood me waiting to join a group of people I didn’t know from a bar of soap. The group was only scheduled to arrive at 2pm as I was joining up with an already existing group who had been traveling for a week already, so I went for a bit of a walk about in the morning to explore my immediate surroundings.

Rome is AMAZING! It is the strangest mix of absolutely ancient history and modern buildings all rolled into one. There is so much to see and the locals LOVE the foreigners…it’s the strangest thing…they just want to chat to you and find out all about you. I wasn’t brave enough to explore the public transport system yet at this point, but I headed back to the hotel lobby to meet up with my group. They were slightly late, but when they walked in I was engulfed in a group of loud, all over the world awesomeness. The group consisted of people from Australia, Canada, America, China, Italy, Japan, Korea (north and south), Nieu-Zeeland and Romania, and of course when I joined South Africa. I was immediately included and regarded as a friend and some of them I still consider friends:) The tour guide, Micelle, is actually originally from Rome, so we were in for a treat.

Shortly after their arrival we set off on a walking tour of all the major areas of Rome. Micelle showed us how the public transport system works and gave us a map of the city with all the major touristy things marked and he made sure to indicate to us where our hotel was situated. The walking tour basically teaches you all about the city and its history without going into all the major touristy places….so we went to the Colosseum but we didn’t go in etc. There would be plenty of that the next day when we were free to roam Rome. It was during this walkabout that we ate ALL the gelato in Rome…truly, nobody makes it like the real Italians.

A street scene from our walkabout in Rome

That's our tour guide, Micelle, sitting up top telling us a story... — That’s our tour guide, Micelle, sitting up top telling us a story…

We ended off the day in a quaint little restaurant where we had a choice of all kinds of awesome Italian dishes and wine and where I scored a LOT of free wine due to the fact that I was South African. I thought Micelle had been joking when he said I will probably find that people in general would be drawn to me because of where I come from..he was not wrong. I even got a tour of the wine cellar:) After dinner we went out for a couple of drinks and then headed back to our hotel…super tired and excited for all the exploring we would do the next day.

Love
Ruby
xxx

Dear Central Gauteng 10 Pin Bowling Association

I’m a bit late with this post….considering that the actual event took place ALMOST a month ago, but better late than never right? RIGHT?

So, on 16 August 2014, I spent the morning at the Ten Pin bowling alley at the Zone in Rosebank along with some of my social media tweeps and some professional ten pin bowlers. We took part in an invitation Pro-Am tournament called The Predator Cup. It was the first time the pros decided to have an event like this and I think they did a spectacular job. Not only did we get to have a really fun morning, but each amateur was spoiled with a brand new pair of bowling shoes and our beverage of choice from Vida (this alone makes the day a winner in my books).

This is how my day started.....working all the hours of the night the week before hadn't done me any favours — This is how my day started…..working all the hours of the night the week before hadn’t done me any favours

It was lovely to see some of my favourite social media people again, and as always, pretty awesome to meet some new ones. Each amateur was paired with a Central Gauteng league player…..some of whom have also played for South Africa.

The ever handsome Mister Hans Haupt striking a pose

I was lucky enough to be paired up with Leigh…..who is not only a fantastic ten pin bowling player, but also a genuinely nice guy. The pros were tasked with coaching their individual amateurs before and during the tournament and of course to help keep the team average as high as possible, just in case the amateurs sucked.

#TeamAwesome There was never any doubt in our minds that we would be crowned winners :P — #TeamAwesome There was never any doubt in our minds that we would be crowned winners 😛

There were two competitions running at the same time….the first one was an elimination: EAch team played a total of 3 games. During the first round only the top 8 teams qualified, during the second round only the top 4 of the previous 8 qualified and during the 3rd round they determined which two teams would play in the final. The nice part was that even though some teams were eliminated during the first round already, they kept on playing and finished all 3 rounds and the information was needed for the second competition, being the Marathon. For the marathon they counted all the scores from each round and determined which team scored highest pin fall overall.

It was a lot of fun AND my team-mate and I won BOTH events!! We managed to get to the final where we battled it out with Quint and Jo to finally lift the Trophies AND we scored the highest pin fall overall too. We are officially #TeamAwesome.

My pro doing his thing. Now THAT is how you bowl a perfect strike

Doing my best to look all pro like during the finals. Picture courtesy of Jenty:) — Doing my best to look all pro like during the finals. Picture courtesy of Jenty🙂

We learned a lot about the actual game too. In professional bowling you have to wait for the person next to you to finish bowling before stepping on the lane to bowl in order not to disturb them and whenever someone makes a really good shot (and even sometimes when they don’t) everyone on that lane gives them a high 5.

The Central Gauteng guys also have weekly leagues and they offer coaching. So should you guys be interested you should go to their site and give them a call. It’s a really fun and social sport and I suspect we’ll be doing social bowling way more often…..maybe next year I’ll even be able to convince some of the social media guys to form a team for one of the fun leagues??

Smiling proudly with my two trophies....#TeamAwesome — Smiling proudly with my two trophies….#TeamAwesome

Love
Ruby
xxxxx

A little something on how life gets in the way

My dearest readers, once again I find myself in a position where I look at my poor little blog and realise just how badly I’ve abandoned it of late. I somehow feel like a bit of a bad mother, life I’ve forsaken my only child or something. But here’s the thing….luckily a blog is not a child and even though I feel terrible for being so quiet on here, I know the reasons for my silence better than anyone.

You see, so far this year has been amazing and horrible and hard and exciting all rolled into one. And being faced with all of this has made it hard for me to formulate my thoughts into words and more than that…some of what I’ve experienced I didn’t want to share…it was mine to deal with, mine to struggle with, mine to enjoy and mine to share when I was ready to do so.

So without going into too much detail, here are the facts:

I met a guy…..a pretty awesome one in fact
I was unemployed for nearly 6 months (a very very stressful time for me)
I was grateful for my uncanny ability to stow away money for rainy days….I survived 6 months and still have some left
I visited my bro in the States for 2 weeks earlier this year and met my dearest Baby B (who is no longer a baby) in real life for the first time and fell completely in love with him
I spend more and more time on Skype missing my family and especially my nephew
I was given an amazing opportunity with an amazing company as an external consultant (so I’m still my own boss)
I spent 3 months out in the middle of nowhere South Africa catching bad guys and only returning home for a couple of hours a week
I realised how spoiled we are in Jozi with the amazing signal……middle of nowhere SA has very little signal
The future is looking rosy again
My circle of friends shrunk and I realised who my true friends were
When my best friend is struggling with things, I struggle….I can’t help it….I wish I could make it better
I’m finally back in Jozi (for the time being anyway

You see…life does this silly little thing of getting in the way and we become so busy that we no longer have time for the things we enjoy doing. I love writing and pouring my heart out here on my little blog…but sometimes it’s just not possible to do this. But here I am…back (for now) and ready to once again fill your life with useless information:P

So for now…let me fill your life with some beauty, courtesy of #MiddleOfNowhereSA and the Americas