Dear 2012

I can hardly believe that I’m sitting here writing my annual “end of year” blog already. It feels like just yesterday that I was jetting off to the States to see in the new year in Times Square with my closest friend.  But here I am, looking back and reflecting on the year that’s been.  My initial reaction when thinking about this year is that it was a really really tough one…but it wasn’t all bad. There was a lot of good contained in this year too…a lot of happy moment shared by myself and the ones I consider dear to me.

Every year I write a little post listing big events or things I’ve learnt and this year shall be no different.  Please feel free to add anything I’ve missed in the comment sections…since you guys share such a big part of my life anyway:)

  • I kicked of the year with a massive party in my favourite city in the whole world.  My close friend and I traveled to the States to conquer Washington DC and New York and to party in Time’s square along with millions of other people.  It was one of the most memorable experiences of my entire life, and to be honest when I think about it I can almost not believe that I was really there:)

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  • The rest of our holiday in the US and I extended my stay with a week to go visit my brother and sister-in-law.
  • I get to spend my brother’s birthday with him for the first time in many years

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  • I felt Baby B (nephew) kick for the first time and I accompanied my sister-in-law on one of her visits and was able to hear his little heart beat.  I’m not broody at all…never have been. But hearing that little heart beat…my eyes filled with tears and that little baby stole my heart right then and there…even though he was still a few months away from being born.
  • The Italian somehow managed to squeeze over my walls and swept me off my feet…sadly it didn’t last and later in 2012 we broke up.

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  • After months of waiting (having ordered it in October 2011 already) and secret keeping (very few people knew) my gorgeous and epic car arrived in January. My little MINI, spec’d to a level of crazy and exactly as I wanted it:) MINI FTW!!!
  • For the first time I was faced with the harsh realities of being self-employed. It’s a scary world and I’m grateful that it was only a small scare.
  • My gran became seriously ill and was admitted to a hospital in Durban.  I flew down for one night as we were all convinced she wouldn’t make it thought the weekend.  I return to Jozi broken-hearted, convinced I’d never speak to her again
  • My gran makes a miraculous recovery from the pneumonia and is sent home…but the cancer is back with a vengeance and we all know it won’t be long.
  • My close friend got engaged to the girl who stole his heart:)
  • Early one morning I ended up in ER with everyone convinced I was having a heart attack.  Biggest SCARE EVER! I made hospital art after the ECG.

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  • I move into a new home.  I LOVE it! probably twice the size of my previous place and I have a little garden.
  • I meet the neighbourlady…which in the few months that I’ve lived in the new place, has become an amazing friend.
  • My gran passed away peacefully while taking an afternoon nap. I think this was the one single event that shaped my opinion of this year. It broke me. Utterly and completely.  She was the strongest most amazing woman, she was my best friend and just like that she was no longer with us.  I still feel my eyes filling with tears just thinking about it.  I miss her so very much.
  • Baby B is born the day after my gran passed away. The most beautiful and perfect little boy and despite not actually being able to hold and cuddle him he has stolen my heart:)

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  • My mother receives my grandmother’s Ruby ring that my grandfather gave her on their 40th wedding anniversary and she decides to give it to me. Ruby being my birthstone and all. (happy tears) I wear it every single day:)

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  • A rather scary event (work related) forces me to reconsider my chosen profession.  I love my job…but is it worth the danger I put the people I love in?  It took weeks of prayer, planning and a lot of personal analysis to figure this one out.
  • I took my parentals to see my dad’s all time favourite band when they were in SA – The Moody Blues…what an awesome concert!

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  • I turned the big three oh.  Most other people I know had a little episode when they realise they were turning 30…me not so much.  If nothing else it has brought me to a place in my life where I’m less concerned about what others think and more about the happiness of myself and the ones I love.  It’s brought a new confidence and a happiness all on its own.  So I’m 30..so what…age is just a number:) It has also brought along a new motto: Some will, some won’t, so what, next.
  • I went to see Madame Zingara and became part of the show:P

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  • My mother had to go for a really big operation and I was a complete wreck.  Grateful that I was in a position where I was able to work from their home for a week and look after her.
  • Christmas 2012…our first without my gran…a joyful and sad event.
  • It’s been a year of incredibly long hours and hard work and a lot of pressure work wise. I still haven’t quite figured out how to relax…I’m trying my best to master this art though:P  But I still tend to go overboard and work myself to the edge of a burnout.
  • I’ve learnt that no matter how hard you try, for some people nothing will ever be good enough.
  • The ones who hurt us the most are the ones we trust and love the most, because it is to them that we open our hearts, our dreams, our desires and our weaknesses.
  • I’ve once again realised that you can make really good friends in the most unlikely of places.
  • Not everyone who proclaims to be your friend will treat you as such.
  • True friends are worth more to me than any riches
  • People will judge and oppose that which they do not understand.
  • It has been a long year…I’m beyond tired and I’m still working.  No holiday plans for me yet and it was with shock that I realised that I haven’t been off since returning from the States in January.  Not a weekend away, not a weekend off, mostly work work work and more work. But it has been a good year and despite some events that made it seem like a yucky year I have been blessed.  I realise that a lot of people who read my blog do not share my beliefs when it comes to God, but how can I say goodbye to a year without including the most important part of who I am and what I believe.  God has provided me with a lot of grace and love and understanding and comfort this year.  He has also blessed me in ways I can not even begin to explain or even comprehend.  He is my Rock:)

Well my lovelies, I think that about sums it up. My 2012 in a nutshell.
As far as 2013 goes…I think this is going to be a big year all round.  There are many exciting things in the pipeline…weddings, engagements, work things, friend things, family things and hopefully some epic holidays and fun times with the people dear to me.  I wish you guys all the best for 2013.  Make every single day count.  Do what makes you happy. Take responsibility for your actions. Tell the people you love that you love them as often as you can…they might not have a tomorrow. Laugh a lot. Dance and be silly.  Work hard.  Do your best in all you do. 2013…look out, we’re coming for you!

Love
Ruby
xxxx

 

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Dear One Direction

I recently discovered your song “Little things” and all that I can say is WOW.  I’ve probably listened to it a million times and I just don’t get tired of it.  It’s totally cheesy…completely corny…but it appeals to the hopeless romantic that I am deep inside. There is a part of me that becomes complete mush at the thought of a guy serenading a girl…writing her a song or a poem or just a simple, but beautiful and honest love letter. The leaving of a single hand-picked wild flower or the gentle seemingly thoughtless touch in passing.

I mostly blame the parentals for this hopelessly romantic streak I have.  I am very blessed to have parents that after 36 years of marriage are still in love, still hold hands, still kiss and send loving and sickeningly sweet messages to each other and what I realised most last week…are completely miserable without each other. I think they are singlehandedly responsible for my belief that true love exist, good men are still alive, couples should always support each other, trust each other completely (definitely a vital building block), men should be chivalrous, women should behave like ladies and that one simple gesture can be filled with more love than any amount of words could ever explain.

So bear with me as I share with my readers the sickeningly sweet words of this song and share a part of my hopelessly romantic heart:

Your hand fits in mine
Like it’s made just for me
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me

I know you’ve never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile
You’ve never loved
Your stomach or your thighs,
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I’ll love them endlessly

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do
It’s you
Oh, it’s you they add up to
I’m in love with you
And all these little things

You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea
And maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me

I know you’ve never loved
The sound of your voice on tape
You never want
To know how much you weigh
You still love to squeeze into your jeans
But you’re perfect to me

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it’s true
It’s you,
It’s you they add up to
I’m in love with you
And all these little things

You’ll never love yourself half as much as I love you
You’ll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to.
If I let you know I’m here for you
Maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you, oh.

And I’ve just let these little things slip out of my mouth
‘Cause it’s you,
Oh, it’s you,
It’s you they add up to
And I’m in love with you
And all these little things

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it’s true
It’s you,
It’s you they add up to
I’m in love with you
And all your little things

Regards
The Hopeless Romantic
xxxx

My dearest Parental Unit

Today marks the 35th celebration of the day that you got married. 35 YEARS!!! I consider this to be an exceptional feat in the times we live in.  Our world is filled with broken families who couldn’t survive the challenges that being married to one person for the rest of your life brings, and yet here you stand, 35 years later, still in love, still discovering each other, still enjoying each other and still working towards making your union even more perfect.

I look around at the families of friends, colleagues and family and I realise that I am in an a very blessed position.  Very few of the people I know were able to dodge the bullet of a broken home.  Not only are my parents still married, but they are happily married, which is certainly something to celebrate.

Thank you so much for the beautiful example that you have set for my brother and I.  Thank you for putting me in a position where I can believe in a fairy tale marriage and know that I too can have that.  Thank you for loving each other so much that you faced whatever hard times there might have been and grew into the future together.  I look at the two of you and I smile.  How rare is it that 35 years on you are still holding hands when you walk, delivering little kisses randomly, become completely miserable when you are away from each other for longer than a day and consider each other your best friend.

So here’s a toast to the two of you.  Congratulations on accomplishing something this amazing, and may there be many, many many more of these.  Happy 35th anniversary.

Your loving and devoted daughter
Ruby
xxxx

A celebration

CuteToo cute…caught them on camera while Daddy letter was being all soppy with Mommy letters:)

FavouriteOne of my favourites! I took this picture when we were at the Victory Falls.  It was just so adorable, the two of them walking side by side under the umbrella on this little path, completely unaware of the rest of the world

Dear Angel and Neels

yay!!!! And then there was ONE 🙂 Congratulations guys! Finally finally the big day of #AnGlugWedding arrived. 24 July 2010 will forever be a fond memory in my life.  The that two of my friends, who just happen to be two of the most incredible people i know, Angel and Neels, finally got married:)

What a love story it has been.  Meeting ‘online’ and carefully plotting and building until an absolutely beautiful relationship emerged.  A relationship in which they accepted each other with the Knucklehead (who looked ridiculously handsome at the wedding just so by the way) and whatever they had in their pasts.  A relationship where love ruled and will forever rule.  A relationship that makes me smile every time i think about it.  You guys are so ridiculously perfect for each other:)

Congratulations my friends, I am so incredibly happy for you.  Angel, you looked absolutely gorgeous!! The decor was spectacular and everything was just so naturally you that i couldn’t help but smile every time i noticed something.  Glug, you looked so very handsome! and your smile knew no bounds.  I wish you guys only love and happiness and many blessings and a life together filled with beautiful memories that’ll last forever.

The cupcakes were yummy….as always:) And the photo booth that you guys rented for the night was definitely a hit.  I’m not sure in how many pictures i appear in total…..lets just say…erm… A LOT! but it was fun and the whole idea of putting copies of all of those pics along with little messages in a book for you guys was absolutely brilliant!

Finally got to meet Acidicice and BecauseI in person:)  Don Packett was the MC for the evening and he kept us all entertained:) The place was filled with twitter and blogger people and Don at some point jokingly said that if the place were to implode for whatever reason the twitter world would be A LOT quieter.  Thanks a LOT to my date, Claude, for being a sport and helping me out when i was in a bit of a pinch…muchly appreciated honey:)  And of course i sat at the absolute BEST table with Phillygirl, Doodles and Louisa….thanks girls…always a pleasure!!!

Can’t wait for you guys to come back and I can’t wait to see all the pictures Jenty took at your wedding.  Enjoy the honeymoon!!!! *wink wink*

So much love

Ruby
xxxxxx

P.S.  Attached are some of my favourite pics from the evening from my camera(the hair shot is courtesy of Wenchy) and the photo booth…..enjoy:) They include pics of us and of the cupcake, the centre piece on the table and of me and the gorgeous bride!

Dear future prince charming

I hope this letter finds you well and also well on your way to me *nudge nudge wink wink*. It’s just a little bit of guideline for that point in time when you finally do pitch up. I’m by no means perfect and like everybody else around me i have my good points, my strengths, my weaknesses and my issues. But I’d like to believe that I’m generally a good and caring person. Here are a couple things i’d like you to remember and take into consideration:

1. I’m a very affectionate person…I hope this won’t be a problem (PDA and stuff)
2. Dancing is my happy place:) I don’t expect you to love dancing, but it would help:)
3. I hate peas! Don’t try to make me eat them, don’t chew them in my ear so i can hear them
popping
4. One of my best friends happen to be a boy person and i love him very much. Accept this
and deal with it…my friendship with him is not up for discussion.
5. I have an irrational fear of spiders. Please note….irrational. Don’t try and convince me that
they can’t hurt me, or that I weigh more than them, or that i’m like a million times bigger
than them…also, laughing at me when i freak out doesn’t help. Just be my knight in
shining armor….kill it, give me a hug and a kiss and move on.
6. Being a very affectionate person means i’m also affectionate with my friends, and i tend to
have little nicknames for everyone….extreme jealousy is better left at the door….slight, none
overbearing jealousy that you can fully control is sweet tho
7. I don’t believe in the silent treatment…issues need to be dealt with as and when they arise
8. I cry when i get really really angry…pls don’t think i’m trying to break down your defences
or black mail you when this happens.
9. Looks can be deceiving….i love camping…like serious pitch a tent and sleeping bag type stuff
10. My studies are important to me…not more important than you, but i am passionate about
what i do, and i’d appreciate it if you respected that.
11. I’m very close to my parents and my brother, and generally family means the world to me
12. My faith is an important part of who I am and i’m not willing to compromise it
13. I love cuddling and snuggling…i hope this is acceptable
14. Music forms an important part of my day to day life. It has a tremendous effect on my mood
and my day to day life. Important people and things in my life seem to be marked by songs
rather than anything else.
15. My heart is well guarded, and initially you might have trouble getting in……the walls around
it is quite high, but when i do fall in love i do so unconditionally and passionately.

My intention is not to scare you away or make you think twice, but the way i see it…..if you’re going to be part of my life there are certain things I might as well let you know before hand. If you can’t see yourself coping with them, then maybe you’re not my Prince Charming after all.

I can’t wait to meet you:)

Love
Ruby
xxxx

Dear Blue eyes

I have so many emotions and thoughts running around in my head that I have no idea how to put them down on paper, much less blurt them out in a conversation. I realise that I’m famous for my extreme and incurable case of Foot in Mouth disease, but there are times when even I struggle to grasp words, any words to express what’s going on in my little world.

We’ve been friends for a very long time the two of us. I was there when your whole world collapsed, I was there during the period that you rebuilt it…doing more than my fair share to help. I saw you meet the love of your life, and I made an effort to get to know her and to be her friend, initially for your sake, but later, for hers. She’s an amazing lady….full of love and charm and although she is in many ways the exact opposite of me, we get along like a house on fire. The only thing to ever mar our friendship was…..well…you. Even though she knows she has nothing to fear, she can’t help but feel insecure about our friendship. So we decided to bridge the gap for her…..we stopped sharing long standing private jokes, we ensured that we never spent time alone, always including her in everything…and it worked. Until now.

The other night you phoned me at about 9. Please could you come for coffee. I was under the impression that she would be joining us, and being the little night owl that I am, I didn’t mind. Great was my surprise when you showed up on your own. I was really glad to see you, but the first thing that jumped out of my mouth the second you got out of the car was:”Where is she??” You became slightly evasive and told me that she went on holiday with her folks…..leaving you behind for a week. I’ve never been good at keeping my mouth shut, so I just jumped right in and wanted to know why on earth she would go on holiday without you, considering that it would have been completely possible for you to join her….You didn’t have an answer.

It’s no secret between us that there was a stage, a couple of months before you got engaged, that you were in love with me…and passionately so. I didn’t feel the same, and after long talks you accepted it, you even managed to talk to you wife to be about it, telling her about your silliness and the realisation that it wasn’t real. I was relieved and happy that it was all out in the open, crisis averted.

I’ll be honest….I’m worried, really worried. The fact that you came to see me alone, hardly answered any of my questions about the two of you, and then proceeded to tell me that you didn’t tell her that you were coming to see me and would appreciate it if I didn’t tell her either……I’m actually feeling kind of sick with worry. You never seem to smile any more, yet when the two of you are together you act as if everything is just peachy, and maybe it is, I’m just not convinced.

I’ve given you an ultimatum. Tell her you came to visit me while she was away or I will. Maybe i’m making a mountain from a molehill. But considering the current situation, and the history, I don’t want anybody pointing fingers at me saying that I was the cause of a failed marriage. I didn’t do anything wrong, I know that much….but I need you to tell her that you were at my house…even if it’s only for the sake of my sanity.

You’re like my brother, and I would do almost anything to see you happy and excited about life. But I refuse to be part of something that makes me feel dirty, even though i didn’t do anything wrong. Am I just being paranoid? Do I have reason to be worried? Why does everything always have to be so complicated…*sigh*

Love

Ruby