So tonight is the last night I’ll ever sleep here. It feels weird being here with it looking nothing like a place I would live in. All the boxes stacked in the lounge…the only thing left untouched is my bed…so that I can sleep in it tonight.
Tonight I am overwhelmed by excitement, stress, happiness, sadness and a general feeling of…well…overwhelmedness (if I can put it like that). I’m very excited about the new house. I fell in love with it the moment I first saw it and I’m definitely looking forward to having a dedicated office rather than having 40 lever arch files in my lounge. I’ll also have a little garden and a porch and a nice big kitchen and the living area is big enough that I’ll be able to get that much wanted dining room table. I’m stressed because…well..moving is stressful no matter how you look at it. And having packers doing everything this time round was even more stressful, as I had no control over what was happening. Hiring a company to do everything was the best and the worst decision I ever made:P
But lying in my bed typing this I also feel a great sadness. This little house of mine holds so many amazing memories…and I’m almost scared I’m going to lose them because I will no longer be here. Now I know that’s absolutely ridiculous on the face of it…but I think it’s a very human reaction actually. I’ve learned so many things…experienced so many more things..and i’ve grown so much while living here that there is a little irrational part of me that’s sad because I think I might lose it.
But most of all I think I just feel overwhelmed in general….for a million different reasons which I’m finding hard to explain in words.
Thank you, 122, for some awesome memories. For being here to witness the last 2 years, for being a really awesome home. Be assured that if it wasn’t for the fact that I desperately need a dedicated study/office I would definitely not be moving.
Love
Ruby
xxxx
Happy 86th birthday!
As I sit here writing this wee little blog post I can’t help but shed a tear, give a little sob and just cry. My heart is just so full when I think of you and all that you are and what you have overcome that I don’t even know where to begin. Less than two months ago we were all convinced you wouldn’t ever come out of the hospital, let alone walk around the house with only a walker as aid. You’re a little miracle all on your own:)
You’ve overcome so much in your 86 years…fighting and surviving aggressive breast cancer, the loss of the love of your life, the death of a son, a hip replacement and heart failure to name but a few. And yet here you are…a fighter, a survivor, a never-ending source of wisdom and love and teases and hugs and one of my closest friends.
There is so much I can write here to say what an amazing person you are and how much you mean to me and truth be told I’ve written and deleted this post about a million times…because no matter how I try the words just don’t come out right and they sound hollow and don’t do justice to you.
So instead I will offer you just this. Thank you for being such an amazing grandmother, mother, sister, child and friend. Thank you for loving us so much that it feels like our hearts will explode. Thank you for teaching me how to make traditional ginger beer and how to bake bread. Thank you for being the perfect example of child like faith in the midst of darkness. Thank you for being a fighter and for showing me where I got that pig-headed tendency from:P Thank you for believing in miracles and sharing them with us. Thank you for believing in us. But most of all thank you for the role you played in my life.
With more love than I could ever explain
Ruby
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Wow! Just Wow…and NOT in a good way. Last week you did your utmost best to make my life an absolute misery…the really sad part was that the week was a really short one.
While technically the week started off well as I spent Monday and most of Tuesday in my home town visiting the parentals, the rest of the week did not have quite the same vibe. On Tuesday night, shortly after returning to Jozi, The Italian and I broke up. Now I realise most of you don’t even know about The Italian…this was done mostly on purpose…but just as he was starting to weave his way into my social media life it all came to an end. I suppose as far as breakups go it wasn’t that bad. We had a long talk and parted ways very amicably….for this I’m grateful. Breakups can be so messy and horrible…I suppose I’m kind of lucky. Anyway…despite the fact that we parted ways amicably, breakups still suck. I don’t easily let people in…and the fact that someone I trusted enough to let in was just no longer there is not only painful, but also slightly depressive.
So anyway…my week was NOT going well and then of course YOU had to make it worse. On Friday morning, shortly after having seen my chiropractor and getting awesome feedback from him, some idiot in a BERCO express delivery van (with bullbars) decided NOT to stop at the red traffic light. The same light where a whole bunch of other cars had already stopped and had been waiting for the light to change for some time. Needless to say he smashed into the back of my car pretty hard….there goes all the progress I’ve made with my chiropractor. But worse than that…my poor 4 month old car:( I’m still heartsore when I think about it.
Look, in all honesty the actual damage isn’t that bad. But I still have to go through all the admin of an insurance claim and I’ll still have to drive around in a stupid rental while my baby gets fixed. I’m not impressed.
So right now the scoring is as follows: Life 2 Ruby 0. Now you might have won this particular battle, but I can assure you that you will NOT win this war. Prepare to kiss my ass.
Regards
Ruby
xxxx
