I am generally a very upbeat person. I’m not prone to feeling sad or overly emotional and something I definitely only experience on very rare occasions is loneliness. I mean sure, I can bitch and moan along with the best of them when I’m having a bad day. But I’m rarely reduced to tears, and having a complete and utter pity party is a concept that is mostly foreign to me.
So you can imagine my absolute horror when my day pretty much went something like this. Work…..burst into tears for no apparent reason….totally annoyed with emotional reaction to seemingly nothing…..work…nobody loves me….totally annoyed with emotional reaction to nothing…..work….bursts into tears….totally annoyed with emotional reaction to nothing….feels completely alone in the world…more tears. It’s DUMB!
I’m not prone to being emotional due to hormones (before anyone asks) and well…i’m just not very prone to negative emotions and sadness in general. Which means that my reaction not only surprises me, but also annoys me. I don’t do weepy well…it’s just not my thing.
I finally gave up on work for a bit and had a cup of tea. I had to get to the bottom of this. I’m generally under a lot of pressure workwise, but this week has not been the greatest ever and brought on meetings with news of even less sleep and even less of a social life for at least the next month. I’ve been given completely impossible deadlines…and while i generally have an attitude of “BRING IT ON”, this time round I’m doing my absolute best but I suspect that I might not make it. Being down in the dumps was counter productive and I was counting on my cup of tea to help me get to the bottom of this. And then, as I was sitting there getting annoyed with my emotions’ inability to comprehend the pressure I’m under, it dawned on me. My emotional wobble is most probably completely and utterly stress related.
My solution to this problem? I’ve given my workload the instruction to kiss my ass, at least until Sunday. Tonight i plan on watching series and drinking wine, tomorrow I’ll be having coffee and cupcakes for breakfast with a good friend in town while she takes professional pics (she’s a photographer) and i tinker about with instagram:P, followed by a hopefully fun and inspiring late lunch with some fabulous girls. I’ve also decided to stop hmmmming and aaahing and just go ahead and book my holiday in August…I also spent a delightful hour researching my options on how to make it 2 weeks instead of just one and all the lovely places I can go see. And just like that the tears are gone, I feel loved and cared for again. I told you…it’s DUMB.
Work isn’t everything. Having a life is important. But at the same time….I refuse to admit defeat. I WILL make this deadline. It will probably mean little to no sleep for the next 3 weeks, very little down time and well…pulling a bit of an MIA in all aspects of my life. But I’m starting it off right. Taking the time to rally my forces by spoiling myself and then pulling yet another miracle out of the hat. Because you know…I’m a superhero:P (just kidding!) I’m probably more like a magician anyway:P
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On Saturday evening, on my way home from the Clifton Shores launch at Movida, I was pulled over in a roadblock…..exactly 1 block from my house. As I knew I was driving I had been epically responsible with regards to my drinking, but the situation was stressful none the less. I was subjected to a breathalyzer test for the first time in my entire life. It’s scary, regardless of whether you had been drinking or not. I “scored” a proud 0.00, but that’s not the point of this letter.
I’d like to compliment the officers who were part of that night’s roadblock. They were extremely friendly, professional and calm. They explained the process to me and even cracked a few jokes while I was waiting. I was escourted back to my car by an officer as he was wearing a reflective vest and my car was on the other side of the road. Kudos also to the two officers who handled a rather explosive and crappy situation very well. Two other ladies had been pulled over and were quite obviously VERY drunk…their breathalyzer tests proved this…they were far over the limit. They refused however to go quietly. They were screaming and swearing at the poor officers who were really only doing their job…and I have to say that the fact that they remained absolutely calm and professional throughout was good to see. There are still good cops out there.
It breaks my heart when all I hear about the force are negative things. But what annoys me more are the people who complain most about the corrupt police officers and how corrupt our government is, are the same people who tell stories about bribing police officers to get out of fines and being arrested for drunk driving. I’m sorry…if you partake in bribing to get yourself out of trouble when you actually rightfully deserve that trouble…then you are part of the problem..and you are no less corrupt than the police officer you paid the bribe to. So my opinion on this: If you pay bribes in order to “get off” you have NO RIGHT to have an opinion on corruption in this country, for you are no better.
So here’s a high 5 to the awesome officers that manned the road block on saturday evening…you guys rocked!
Today’s picture is of the yummy yummy passion fruit souffle gc34 made:)